Leadership literature tends to focus on the leader themselves, the qualities that they need to have, as well the tips, tricks, tactics, and techniques they need to be successful. However, one of the most critical and underrepresented leadership skills is that of building community and how to do it effectively.

Over the years, I have observed (and personally implemented) many of the following to bond and build unity, community, and camaraderie within groups or organizations:

1. Physical or Virtual Proximity – This is accomplished by physical placement of people in close proximity to one another (like in a “war room” or a row of dedicated cubicles just for your team), or creating an online community through social media or even an email distribution list. You can also bond people together through virtual meetings, conference calls, or video conferences where they can see each other or interact virtually on a regular basis.
2. Food / Shared Meals – There is an inexplicable magic that happens when people gather around food. Whenever food is present it naturally brings people together, it breaks the ice, it’s a conversation topic itself, and provides a shared experience.
3. Lots of time spent together – The more time we spend around a group of people the more they grow on us and vice versa. We get to know them, we get to understand them, and we may grow to like them.  While it’s not universally true, there is a proportional relationship to the time we spend with people and our ability to bond with them.
4. Give them a problem to solve – There is nothing more bonding than a group of people gathered around a difficult problem. The brainstorming, interaction, the active engagement, involvement, and the eventual solving of that problem is a shared experience that people remember and that bonds them together.
5. Don’t Waste a Good Crisis – Crises pull people together in a very powerful and profound way. September 11th, 2001 brought the people of the United States together in a way that we had never experienced in recent history. It also showed us that, as a people, we are resilient, patriotic, and community minded when it truly counts. It was a moment of tragedy and one of great pride. Rahm Emanuel (Former Chief of Staff to President Obama and Mayor of Chicago) once said, “You never let a serious crisis go to waste. And what I mean by that it’s an opportunity to do things you think you could not do before.” He is often negatively misquoted, but what he’s saying is that a crisis reveals who we really are and what we are capable of in the toughest moments. But more than that, crisis has the potential to not only creates the opportunity to do things that you couldn’t do under normal circumstances, but it also can bond people together.
6. Give them a common cause or purpose – This is very common among professional or college sports fans. The fans have a common cause and that is to see their favorite team win. You also see this among those who engage in societal causes like “Occupy” or “Black Lives Matter”. However, this can be emulated on a smaller scale, such as serving the homeless, volunteering together, going on a mission trip, or putting on a fundraiser to benefit an overlooked segment of society.
7. Create a common enemy – I share this not because, I’m an advocate of creating enemies, but because I’ve observed that it is a method of creating a bond among people. Getting back to our sports team analogy. Most sports teams, and their fans especially have a rivalry of some kind. Click here for ESPN’s view on some of the most famous rivalries. However, political parties and governments also do this to suit their own purposes. They create and build-up rivalries or enemies and gather their people against those enemies. For example, The Republicans and Democrats, Middle Eastern countries and Israel, the United States and Terrorists, the North Koreans and the United States. Remember people want to feel included. Creating an “us” and “them” is a powerful method of inclusion that unites people. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just saying it works.
8. Give them a shared experience – Every year our family gets involved in an International Festival that features incredible food and music from all around the world. It’s a pretty amazing event that has grown to be the largest single event in our city. But aside from the fundraising aspect of it, one of its purposes is to create a shared experience for those who are serving. The event serves the community, but it also includes the homeless, first responders, and the military. The bonding that happens from that shared experience among all of us who put it on can be felt for the rest of the year.
9. Have fun or celebrate together – When an individual or a team accomplishes a milestone, it’s critical to reward that accomplishment with some kind of celebration. Psychologically, it’s satisfying, because the mere act of celebrating acknowledges and recognizes the work behind that accomplishment, and it not only honors the individual or team but also motivates others to do the same. Another bi-product of celebrating is that it sends a positive message to the individual or team that “your accomplishments matter to us, and we recognize them here”. This sort of loyalty to the individual creates reciprocal loyalty for the organization.
10. Have them in your home – If you want instant connection and bonding, inviting someone into your home will accomplish just that. “Visiting” and hospitality is a bit of a lost art form in American culture. Unless it’s associated with a special occasion like a kid’s birthday party or holiday event, people typically don’t just “visit” in their homes. When we open our home to someone, they see us where we live, they see our private sanctuary, and where we go to escape the world. When people see this in us, they feel bonded to us.

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