The moment you get asked to do something, when you get a request, or are asked to simply solve a problem –  in that moment you have a choice to make. You can say “yes”, “no” or “later”.

However, if “the ask” comes from someone critical like a key customer, a boss you respect, or a major stakeholder on your project, can you really say “no” then? I would make an argument, that depending on the ask, that sometimes there is a danger in saying “no” outright – in saying “no” you cut off several possibilities:

The Possibility of Insight – Personal and organizational knowledge grows with every request you fulfill and every problem you solve. Sometimes when you go through the process of fulfilling a request you learn things along the way, especially if it’s not a routine task. Sometimes you gain critical insights and gather intelligence as you go through the process of fulfilling the request, answering the question, or dissecting a problem. Saying “no” cuts off the possibility of any new insight, knowledge, or intelligence you might gain.

The Possibility of Solutions – People and organizations grow in learning and capability as they encounter new problems to solve and new gaps to fill. Saying “no” cuts off the possibility of gaining new skill, capability, and competency. It may even cut off the possibility of expanding into uncharted customer needs and markets.

The Possibility of Opportunity – The perception of your work is as important if not more important than the actual work itself. In the long run, visibility leads to perception, which leads to reputation, which leads to opportunity – if you have done things right. Even if you fail, get back up, and succeed again, people will remember you and keep you in mind for future opportunities when they come up. In saying “no”, you might simply miss out. If you say “no” someone else might say yes. Saying “no” creates opportunities for competing organizations and your competitive peers.

The Possibility of Innovation – Innovation, whether small or great, allows individuals and organizations to remain viable, competitive, and relevant. In saying “no” we put a stop to what is possible, we place limits on where a person or and organization can expand, and we slow creativity, growth, and development which is so critical today.

Why I Might be Wrong About This

Now there are perfectly valid counter-arguments to what I’ve just said, all of which I agree with and live out in my own life.

Saying “no” allows you to focus – People and organizations sometimes are more successful when they say “no” and focus on a just a few things. A good example of this is if you compare Apple with competitors like Google, Dell, and IBM. Apple intentionally decided to have as few SKUs as possible, and they have been extraordinarily successful in that decision.

Saying “no” allows you to balance – Another counter-argument is the need for balance. A person must say “no” in order to sift lower priority actions, better sequence their time, and maintain balance.

Saying “no” allows you to choose better – Productivity guru, Michael Hyatt says, “when you say “no”, you say “yes” to something better.” In other words, saying “no” creates opportunities to pursue higher priority and more important items. Saying “no” also allows you to do deal with interruptions and other people’s procrastination and urgency masking as importance.

Solution

If you receive a request or a problem to solve, and you are tempted to say “no” :

• Say “how” Instead – Look for ways that you can say “how” as opposed to “no”. Saying “how” at least keeps possibilities open.
• Get More Intelligence – Ask more questions to gain clarity on the ask before saying “yes”, “no”, or “how”, it might be that the request or problem is not as thorny as you originally thought. Conversely, it might be much more involved and may require greater conversation and assessment. Asking more questions will help you determine the next action to take.
• Establish parameters for your “how” or “yes” – If the request or problem requires more conversation or assessment, establish parameters for the “how” (e.g. do an exploratory / brainstorming session to see what is possible), or establish a criteria for determining “yes” (e.g. some criteria may include: where the request came from, the time or money it would take to resolve, or where it would fit into overall priorities).
• Be upfront – If it is a “yes” be ruthlessly candid and clear about expectations, timelines, and deliverables.
• Get guidance – if you have a boss, they are there to help you prioritize. That is their job. However if you are the boss, then you may have to seek guidance from partners, customers, subordinates, or your true boss – your mission, values and goals – to help you determine how you prioritize and what you say “no” to.
• Delay – Not all requests and solutions are needed right now. If it is possible, intentionally delay work on the request until it is needed or more appropriately timed.

The key to all of this is having a sense of balance about what your priorities are. Everything does not have equal priority, urgency, or importance. The danger in saying “no” outright is that it immediately cuts off possibility for insight, solutions, visibility, and innovation. Saying “how” instead of “no” at least keeps possibilities open, but ultimately your time, your boss, your values, your goals, and your customers will be the driving forces for what you say “yes”, “no”, or “how” to.

Question: How do you handle saying ‘no’? You can leave a comment by clicking here.