I believe that we all have “soft spots” in our lives and characters. “Soft spots”, as I like to call them, are areas where we feel like we need continual work. One of my soft spots is Worry. When it comes to Worry, I am industrial-grade. I am capable of creating the most elaborate scenarios of public humiliation, shame, rejection, loss, and poverty — all in the confines of my own head. Sometimes I’ve even tried to rationalize Worry as a strength. After all, I can see in vivid 4K detail all the risks and everything that can possibly go wrong in a given situation. The reason why I don’t consider Worry a strength is that it never leaves me better for it.

Yes, I can come up with preparations, plans, risk-mitigations, put aside more savings, and buy more insurance, but I’m not any better, happier, or healthier for having worried about a situation. And what’s also true is that worry doesn’t line up with reality. Mark Twain was once credited with saying,

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

Mark Twain

With the amount of time I spend creating huge Worry monsters in my mind, I actually find, most of the time, that reality is often better, more manageable, and not nearly as scary as what I thought it would be.

Recently, I was talking with a colleague of mine in a moment where I was feeling completely overwhelmed with fear, worry, and anxiety for no apparent reason. I mean there are always reasons that cause us to be afraid, worried, and anxious, right? But on that day the worry was completely unfounded and out-of-left-field. I’ll be the first to tell you that I think my life is absolutely amazing, but at that moment I was feeling irrational thoughts about losing it all. Ok, some context here: One of our major contracts was up for competition, and we had a huge stake in the contract, and I was worried about what a loss would do for my team, for our company, for my career, for my livelihood, and my ability to provide for my family.  I had expressed this to my colleague, and she provided the following advice. It was so good for me to hear, that I felt I had to share it with you – my fellow Worry-ers. She said to me,

“You need to stop those thoughts. Strangle them with lack of attention. Immediately turn from them in a way that feels ABRUPT. In fact, keep it simpler -turn away immediately and think of puppies! Or the fact that not everyone has a spouse; that not everyone has kids to be grateful for; that not everyone gets to do the work you do; that there are people older than you who have missed out on some of the experiences you’ve already had – OR just think of puppies. It doesn’t matter just immediately and abruptly STOP. Those are tools of the carnal mind, tools that make us believe we are separate from God, and those thoughts are very aggressive. They have no value, no weight, no merit, they are not an indicator of anything deep or meaningful regarding your mental health. This is a struggle that will never end. And God forbid, if you did lose it all, God would have a plan for you to teach you that you are loved and that all the precious things you have are yours eternally in Spirit and can never be lost.“

I’ve read several books on how to overcome worry, and while those books were helpful for a time, I don’t believe any of them quite captured their advice so well and so succinctly as my colleague did. This advice was actually a bit of a shift for me when it comes to Worry. Her advice not only gave me practical ways to shift my mentality but also made me realize that it doesn’t matter what I fear, whatever will be, will be – and ultimately I’m going to be okay. I was also comforted by knowing that I do have the power, experience, intelligence, as well as the Spiritual protection to confront whatever comes my way.

The next time I’m worried, I just need to think of puppies.