In my post, Email Common Sense 101 I talk about what good email etiquette looks like. Since texting is the other major form of non-in-person communication, I would feel remiss if I didn’t provide some equivalent etiquette around texting. Texting has dominated text-based communication for many reasons:

1. Mass Adoption! Mobile devices are everywhere (there are more mobile devices than people in the world – (as of November 2019) there are more than 9.3 billion devices – according to gsmaintelligence.com; there are 7.6 billion people in the world according the US Census Bureau; and according to Pew Internet Research 81% of mobile phone owners text vs. 52% that are using their phones to email. According to USAToday, mobile phone users use the SMS (or Share by text) button 3-4x more often than they use the Twitter share button.
2. Texting can be done synchronously (in real-time) or asynchronously (with delay at your convenience)
3. Texting requires low bandwidth and can be done anywhere at anytime
4. Texting can be short form, long form and can include multimedia (like images, sound, and video clips)
5. Texting is entertaining
6. Texts get our attention
7. Texts provide immediate gratification
8. The device-to-device nature of texting makes texting highly personal
9. Texting can be very personable as you can somewhat transmit emotion through emojis
10. Texts can quickly transmit logistical info, “Let’s meet at Starbucks at 9:30.”
11. Texting can be an individual or group communication
12. People need an informal means of communication, and texting is one of the most widely used, aside from in-person, and social media
13. Texting allows for multiple conversations at once.

In terms of etiquette, texting is informal by nature, so we almost need to take our etiquette from in-person communication and tailor it to electronic media.

Texting Etiquette

1. Length doesn’t really matter, but in the case of texting – shorter is better – longer, more detailed conversations are better done as a phone call or in person
2. Texting should not be used for complex business transactions, communications, and collaborations. Use a more formal means of communication like in-person meetings, video conferencing, phone and email for business matters.
3. Special occasion responses (e.g., party invitations for graduations, engagements, weddings, baby showers, etc.) should typically be done via the requested mode for RSVP, unless you are explicitly instructed to RSVP by text in the invitation.
4. In initiating a text conversation, you must always identify yourself if you’ve never texted with them before, otherwise, they are wondering who you are, and will be resistant to anything you say.
5. In initiating a text conversation, it’s always nice to use a pleasantry when opening a text conversation like “Happy Friday” or “I hope your day is going well.”
6. For some people texting is personal space, so text with someone that you feel comfortable connecting with in such a personal way.
7. Texting should never ever ever ever be used to transmit breakups – That’s just cowardly and you are better than that, and anyone who would ever break up with you using a text is someone you do not want in your life anyway, so move on, you’re better off without them.
8. Use acronyms and shorthand that the other person knows, and define acronyms for them if you’re not sure whether they know them or not
9. In the same way that someone is speaking to you, you want to acknowledge them and what they say. The same is true for texting. Don’t leave a person hanging for days and weeks. Reply at an appropriate time. If it is an urgent question, answer right away. If it is less urgent, you can wait on it, but it would be good to at least acknowledge the text in some way, like “Thanks for letting me know.”, “Great to hear from you.”, or “Let me check on that and get back to you.”
10. If you found that you missed a text and never responded, just simply acknowledge it, apologize for it, and reply. For example, “I’m so sorry I missed your text, I just saw it…”
11. Be aware that when you are in group text situation, everything you write could be read by everyone else
12. The best forms of communication in order: In-person, Video (e.g. Skype, FaceTime, Google Duo, or Zoom), Phone (Voice-to-Voice), Texting (because it’s informal and personal), and email (which is considered a little more formal).
13. Please, do not text when you are in the middle of a conversation, work, or a social situation where you should otherwise be present and engaged. Most mature, civilized people agree that it’s rude.

All in all, what is etiquette? It’s not just a way of behavior, it is a way of behaving that is classy and doesn’t offend people. If I were to give you one etiquette takeaway it’s this, treat others better than the way you want to be treated, and you’ll never go wrong.

Common Acronyms for Text Messaging / E-Mail / Chat

The following links contain a comprehensive set of texting and other electronic communication shorthand. At minimum, the following links are informative and entertaining. That said, because texting contains the lowest common denominator for our English vernacular, some of the following links do contain shorthand for less-than-proper language. I thought you would appreciate knowing that up front. Enjoy!

Short Lists of Popular Texting / Email / Social Media Acronyms

http://www.netlingo.com/top50/popular-text-terms.php

http://www.smart-words.org/abbreviations/text.html

Comprehensive Lists of Texting / Email / Social Media Acronyms

http://www.netlingo.com/acronyms.php

http://www.webopedia.com/quick_ref/textmessageabbreviations.asp

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