This article is presented in partnership with Linda Chase, the Founder of AbleHire.org, whose mission is to help people with disabilities build rewarding, successful careers. AbleHire.org offers great resources for those with disabilities looking to advance their career and work life.

For young adults with disabilities, getting a degree in business could open up several career path options. Not only would you gain the skills necessary to launch your own business one day, but it would also help set you up to find your first job. Use this guide to discover how to leverage your skills to get an internship and start your career. For advice and consulting on how to start your own business, connect with Mark Botros for help.

Getting a business degree

One of the silver linings of the COVID-19 pandemic is that it’s easier than ever to get a degree online, opening up far more education options for people with disabilities. While in-person courses can be helpful for some, there are often access issues for disabled students. With online classes, people with disabilities can pursue a number of degree options, including business.

A business degree is a versatile educational path that opens up a number of career options for graduates. There are a number of different degree options within most business schools: students can choose between business management, IT management, healthcare management, marketing, accounting, and human resources.

It’s a good idea to have an idea of what industry interests you most, whether it’s computer science or healthcare, and choose a program that will allow you to pursue those interests. If you’re interested in starting a lucrative career, a business degree in IT management will help raise your earning potential.

Finding the right internship

One of the best ways to supplement your learning and get real-world experience is through an internship. Many universities will have programs and connections designed to help students find internships, but if you have an idea of a company where you’d like to work, it’s a great idea to reach out directly.

If you’re having a hard time finding an internship that suits you, try out these websites to connect with companies. LinkedIn can be a great option, and will also allow you to network and build your own profile to attract employers. Glassdoor is another option for finding internships, and it will also help you learn more about each company’s reputation and average salary.

Landing your first job

For some lucky grads, internships can turn into first jobs. However, if you’re planning to start job hunting the minute you graduate, keep in mind that it may take some time to find the right fit.

For graduates with disabilities, it’s important to find a job that suits your needs. For some, this will mean having the opportunity to work remotely. However, if a job you’re interested in requires you to work in-person, be sure to learn about how the company will support your needs, whether it’s supplying a screen reader or giving you flexibility in your schedule.

If you’re a new graduate and need some direction for finding your first job, connect with the career services department at your university for help. They can usually assist with developing your application materials, whether it’s writing your resume or crafting your first cover letter. Do as much networking as possible during this time, and attend any industry conferences to learn as much as possible about your new career field.

Getting a business degree is a great way to launch a lucrative career. It’s important to choose a degree in an industry that interests you, whether it’s in IT or healthcare management. Aim to do at least one internship during your studies, and be sure to stay in touch with any connections you make during your studies. And when you graduate, find a company that will be supportive of your disability needs.

Are you interested in launching your own business? Consult Mark Botros and learn how to strike the balance between success and personal fulfillment. Start here.

Linda Chase created Able Hire to help people with disabilities build rewarding, successful careers. She hopes Able Hire will be a resource for people with disabilities seeking jobs and for hiring managers seeking a better understanding of what people with disabilities have to offer.

Have you ever felt stuck mentally, emotionally, even spiritually?

If we are self-aware and honest, we can identify with that the feeling. Oftentimes when we feel stuck, it’s difficult to put into words. We feel that something is not quite right, but it’s difficult to identify. Sometimes, feeling stuck comes in the form of writer’s block, or feeling like you have no new ideas or solutions, or feeling a sense of mild frustration – where you have a goal, but feel unable to meet it. Or perhaps you have slowed down, lost momentum, and feel the inability to make progress. It may be the feeling that you are in a rut, and that you know you need to change but feel unable to do so. Feeling stuck also feels like you have gone as far as you can go, and you don’t feel you can go any further.

One thing that should hopefully provide some comfort is knowing that this is a normal part of the creative/development process.

So how do we get out of feeling stuck? First, we need to acknowledge that feeling stuck is a “feeling”. Feelings come and go, but we need to appreciate the feeling anyway, because it signals that it may be time to stop, think, and evaluate where we are. It may be that feeling stuck is a signal for us to look at the problem from another angle, or that there may be something wrong with our current solution. So feeling stuck is something we should appreciate rather than frustrate over. And we should know that “feeling” stuck and “being” stuck are two entirely different issues, but in both cases the solutions are similar.

So how do we restart the engine of creativity and development once it has seized? Here are some thoughts:

1. Walk away from it and come back to it later – You’re not doing yourself any good by staring at the screen or a blank sheet of paper. You may even need to sleep on it.
2. Identify what it is you feel stuck about or why you feel stuck – Acknowledge and appreciate it. It’s ok.
3. Try micro-sessions – Try some timed (e.g. 2, 5, 10, 20, 50-minute) startups, work for a certain amount of time, and then stop. Try it again a little bit later. The good in this is that you are pushing momentum little by little. You never know if one of these micro sessions will spark the creativity you need to move forward.
4. Change your environment – Set up a creative, motivating atmosphere, with new visuals, different lighting, candles, or even music. You can try a different working space altogether.
5. Try putting leverage on yourself – think of 5-10 good outcomes that will come from you completing this.
6. Reward yourself – Set yourself a motivating deadline (e.g. if I get this done, I can go for coffee, go for a walk, or leave early)
7. Talk it through with someone – bounce an idea (e.g. hey do you think this might work?)
8. Pray – ask for insight and guidance, you’ll be surprised how often you get answers
9. Respect your Muse – Sometimes our Muse gives us a flash of insight when we’re not expecting it, and we have what we need to act. Capitalize on that moment and act on the inspiration right away if you can, otherwise use a notetaker or voice recorder to capture the thought immediately so it doesn’t get lost. Return to your work and incorporate your new idea at a time that works for you.
10. Break it up – Sometimes we get stuck not because we don’t know what to do, but because we are overwhelmed by the task. Break the task into smaller component pieces and put a very doable schedule in place to get it done.
11. Brute-force it – Sometimes as a last resort, because there may a deadline looming, you just have to suck it up, do it, deny yourself, blast through the laziness, procrastination, and the pain of the moment with sheer will power.

Ultimately, your goal is to move the needle to create a hint of momentum around the task or project. Momentum will take care of the rest. Then you should have no problem finishing.

“ Move the needle toward momentum, and then let momentum take over. —MARK BOTROS

Although it’s rare, when I get sick, boy does it knock me flat on my back.

Recently, I was graced with one of the “kid bugs” (kid bugs is a vernacular term used by parents of small children to describe mutant strains of viruses that start, grow, develop, and become infinitely reinforced among the human petri dish of kid populations in schools and other kid activities, and they are typically stronger, more penetrating, and more sinister than your average illness-causing agent). No matter who you are, or how healthy you are – kid bugs find you.

A funny thing happened when I recently got sick – I mean really sick, not just a sniffle or a little cough, I’m talking high-fever, dizziness, body-aches, flat-on-my-back, puking-my-guts-out, glued-to-the-toilet kind of sick. I had an interesting and seemingly obvious insight:

When I’m sick, anything I think, say, or do is not reflective of my true and normal self.

“ When you’re sick, you’re not in your right mind. —MARK BOTROS

In a recent bout of illness, I was having some pretty crazy thoughts. If you know me well, you know that I live on the positive side of things. When I was sick though, I was having completely opposite thoughts – thoughts of failure, despair, and negativity. I was saying to myself things like “I will never accomplish my goals.” Or “I’m not good enough or smart enough to accomplish my biggest dreams.” Or “my biggest dreams will never happen for me.” These thoughts were highly uncharacteristic of me, and I had to remind myself that when we get this sick we should avoid doing the following:

1. Self-Evaluation – Times of illness are not times to be doing any kind of introspective thinking or self-evaluation. First, your body has dedicating its full resources to fighting the foreign agents in your body. You already feel bad physically, trying to do any kind of self-reflection in this state only adds emotional gasoline to the fire.

If you do think negative thoughts about yourself in times when you are sick, you need to just let those thoughts pass and consciously counteract those thoughts, by telling yourself out loud, “These thoughts are not real”, “These thoughts are not me”, “These thoughts are not normal”. Do not let negative thoughts sink in, don’t even speak them aloud, because, once again, when you’re sick, you are not in your right mind. Your body’s chemistry is configured for fighting the bacteria or virus in your system – not mental, emotional, or spiritual self-evaluation. In those times, you don’t have the resources mentally, emotionally, or spiritually to look at yourself in the purest or best light as if you were in normal health. Under those circumstances, self-evaluation is counterproductive to your healing process.

2. Evaluate others – In the same way that you are not in your right mind when you are evaluating yourself, you should not evaluate others for the same reasons. You are not clear to evaluate others fairly, objectively, and in a way that they might appreciate. So that is not the time to evaluate and place judgment on those closest to us. When we are sick we may be tempted to be more critical of those around us. Once again, do not speak those thoughts aloud, and especially not to those we love. It’s not the time to bring up all those times when you’re spouse squeezed the wrong end of the toothpaste, or wasn’t good at listening or anticipating your every need and want. It’s not fair to them, and you wouldn’t appreciate it if you were on the receiving end of that judgment. So once again, just let those thoughts pass and don’t dwell on them.

3. Make Major Decisions or Strategic Plans – When you’re sick you need to focus on one thing and one thing only – getting better. When you’re sick it is your body’s way of saying, “Alright, we’ve done enough. Time for a break now.” The only major decisions you need to be making are:

• Bed or couch?
• Tea or NyQuil?
• Sleep or a movie?
• Drinking fluids or going to bathroom?
• Cough drops or cough syrup?
• Vitamin C or Echinachea?
• Staying in pajamas or taking a shower?

If you’re focused on anything else, then you’re focused on the wrong thing. It is not the time to be planning your year, or strategizing how to unseat your competition. Because you’re mind is foggy at best, you will make mistakes, miss key items, and there is a law of diminishing returns, and when you are sick, you reach that point of diminishing returns pretty quickly. So, no major decisions or planning when you’re sick. Resume those important activities when you’re in better health, and when you’re fresh and clear minded. Otherwise it’s counterproductive and a waste of time and energy that you should spend getting better.

4. Work or Overwork – One time I was sick, and I was physically achy and felt terrible. But, I decided that I was going to push through work anyway. I was under deadline and didn’t feel I could afford the time off. If you’re a high-performer you understand this temptation, and have had similar thoughts before. I pushed through and paid a very high price for it. Because I did not rest, one night I ended up in an ambulance on the way to the hospital, diagnosed with full-blown pneumonia. Why? Because I didn’t rest when I was supposed to. Trying to work over work when you’re sick, only prolongs the illness and you run a great risk of getting worse. It took me about a month to fully recover.

Evaluative thinking, strategic planning, or work of any kind requires our best. These require clarity, objectivity, and our whole, healthy self including our best mental resources. When you are sick, you are not in your right mind. Even if you think you are, you are not. You’re cloudy at best. Call the office, and let them know you won’t be in. Besides, wouldn’t you appreciate it if someone else got sick, that they stayed home and didn’t breathe their germs on you? Go and do likewise.

What follows is my personal formula for getting better when I do get sick. What I have found is that the following significantly reduces my sick time:

• If it’s early enough in the sickness (day 1 or 2) I might actually try working out to see if I can sweat out The foreign agents (this has worked for me many times in the past)
• Intentional rest and sleep
• Plenty of sleep
• Literal gallons of fluids (tea and water mostly)
• Just enough food to get by (with the exception of a good chicken noodle soup – in my humble view, eating too much takes away your body’s ability to fight infection)
• A healthy diet of good movies and binge-able shows
• NyQuil at night (but only if I really need it)

This all sounds great, but what if you’re in a care-taking role – like being a mommy (at any stage), a stay-at-home dad, a single parent, or a caretaker of an elderly parent? All of these folks have it tough, because they often can’t afford to take a sick day. So for those in these types of roles, I would recommend trying to get some help from a spouse, a sibling, a parent, a friend, or some other person you trust. People want to help you, they really do, especially in times that you are vulnerable. You just need to ask. There may a be a quid pro quo for this, that is – you may need to help someone similarly when it happens to them, but at least you can get some help when you need it most.

I also suggest doing some advance planning like picking up some ready meals from the store (quick prepackaged dinners or pizzas) to feed your family or loved ones – something easy that someone can prepare with no thought and little time. It might take a little advance planning, but you’ll thank yourself for it when those times do come.

“ When you’re sick, you’re number one job is to get better. —MARK BOTROS

One time, I was in a meeting with six consultants, and our customer asked us to consider an honest but compelling question:

“How do we prioritize our projects when we don’t have (or follow) a strategic plan?”

We were providing some rather unique consulting services that were in high-demand at an enterprise level. So it became vital to determine how to filter all of our incoming projects.

However, what came out of it was a discussion so rich, so layered, and so nuanced that I had to capture it, add to it for completeness, and share it with you. The really interesting thing was that no one consultant had the same method for prioritizing or the same focus.

You may be familiar with the Eisenhower method of prioritization. It was made famous by Stephen Covey, but it was Eisenhower who reportedly used it to determine his own priorities throughout his career. The following matrix is an example of the Eisenhower method of prioritization:

A basic “Eisenhower box” to help evaluate urgency and importance. Items may be placed at more precise points within each quadrant. The time management matrix above as described in Merrill and Covey’s 1994 book “First Things First,” showing “quadrant two” items that are important but not urgent and so require greater attention for effective time management.

And while it’s seems a little easier to determine priority based on urgency and importance for yourself (which is what Eisenhower’s model is ideally suited for), how do you determine the varying degrees of importance at an enterprise level?

In our meeting, which had three doctorate-level professionals, we discovered there are numerous ways to define “important” in terms of prioritizing.

If you are prioritizing for yourself, you would define priorities based on your values, those things you hold most dear. For example, they could be:

• Family
• Friends
• Relationships
• Healthy
• Vitality
• Impact
• Learning
• Peace of Mind
• Adventure
• Variety
• Excitement
• Abundance
• Wealth
• Spirituality

Values become the filter and the basis by which you do everything personally. Values also become the foundation of your goals. Your values and goals should determine what decisions you make and what actions you take – or how you prioritize.

Likewise organizations should have a set of core values, goals, and a strategic plan that drives their collective decisions and actions.

But what happens if you don’t have any defined core values, goals, or a strategic plan – or at least follow the ones you have? It seems ridiculous that an organization that employees hundreds or even thousands of people wouldn’t have a workable strategic plan. However, in my observation as a consultant to over 300 organizations, this is more more common than you might think. Why? Because many organizations make strategic plans, but allow operational priorities or others distractions (like a merger, acquisition, or Wall Street demands) to overlook or postpone those great plans.

Below, I offer multiple options for prioritization, some you might never use, but some might actually be intriguing.

1. Go with your gut – Based on what you / your team / your leadership knows of the environment, you make up the prioritization as you go.
2. Highest mission impact – what actions or projects will allow you to do the most for your mission?
3. Greatest good – what actions or projects will allow you to have the greatest impact on the most people?
4. Cost, Budget, and Funding – What can the organization afford to do? Do we follow the money and work on those projects that are actually funded? What about those that are not?
5. Available resources – What resources does the organization have available? Are there limitations on resources and what they can handle? how much can our resources reasonably take on and be successful?
6. Urgency – Is there a time-based need to pursue this project or action?
7. Greatest value to the organization – When I worked in business development, we prioritized those opportunities that had both the highest economic value, the highest win probability, and the lowest risk
8. Project visibility – Do we look good from a perception perspective if we pursue this action or project?
9. Political factors – Which actions or projects are politically popular versus unpopular?
10. Customer Type – Do we prioritize according to customers types? Do we serve internal customers first or external customers first?
11. Likelihood of Success – In business development, this was our win probability. However success could be project completion, lower risk, higher margin, or simply the ability to deliver on your promises.
12. What Senior Management wants – In the reality model (as I like to call it) there is prioritization according to what senior management wants, and they ultimately exercise the right to trump all others.
13. Organizational Function – Does this work fall within the scope of the organization or the project team?
14. What do the people want – There’s also a prioritization according to what is best for the people, that is taking on those projects that are the most intriguing, exciting, and skill building for the people involved. There needs to be alignment between what customers want and what the team does.
15. The Squeaky Wheel – This is when you make someone a priority simply because they are relentless and persistent in getting what they want (I know this, because I am often the squeaky wheel).
16. Environmental factors – What is happening in the broader economic, political, technological, social, generational, and broader global environment? Does our project have an impact or is it impacted by any of those things?
17. Competitive environment – Do we need to pursue an innovation project to be ahead of our competition?

Truth is, there are so many ways to prioritize projects. In a room of six consultants, we came up with six completely different thought processes and approaches. It was a psychologist’s dream – and one of us happened to be a Ph.D psychologist. By the way, what ended up happening in the end was that our consultant team put together an elegant project decision matrix complete with beautiful criteria, weighting, and scoring. The Director of the organization, a strong [willed] leader in his own right, appreciated and utilized the matrix as a data-driven means of justifying certain decisions, but often made the ultimate decision on certain priorities based on a combination of gut-level instinct, political visibility, environmental factors, mission impact, and available funding.

“ Your values and goals drive what decisions you make and what actions you take. —MARK BOTROS

It used to be that you could graduate high school, get a job, work at that job for 30 years, and retire into the twilight of your life with a modest pension that would allow you to live out your days in relative financial security.

Today – change, complexity, and competition rule our global economy. The 30-year job and its accompanying pension are a thing of the past. Cheap labor in East Asia have all but subsumed the West’s ability to manufacture and even provide services competitively. A help desk in India is one less help desk in Oklahoma. A furniture factory in Xiaoming, China takes away hundreds of jobs from North Carolina.

North American companies have been feeling the impact of the interconnected global economy for a couple of decades at least. In order for these companies to remain viable and competitive, they inevitably have to get leaner and meaner, which means they have to find equally good or better labor at a lower cost. So unless you want to move to a lower cost of living area to work in a call center, you may feel the impact of globalization – and it could hit home in the form of a layoff.

So what happens if your job goes elsewhere, or your company has to get aggressive to meet its numbers and you do get laid off? What should you do? What follows is a list of ideas that might help.

1. Renovate your resume
2. Tap into anyone and everyone in your network (i.e. friends, family, church, kids activities)
3. Make it your full-time job to find another
4. Find temporary work
5. Freelance or get connected with a job finder in your industry
6. Volunteer part time in your industry
7. Look at industry association job boards
8. Be willing to take a slightly lower salary, you may not have leverage unless you have a high demand skill
9. Persistence, Persistence, Persistence
10. Beat your former employer at their own game, setup your own business in the same industry
11. Consider moving to where the jobs are
12. Retool yourself by learning a new skill or getting a certification in your field
13. Hold on to hope, it will happen for you, you have more assets than you think

Job hunting is like sales, it’s a numbers game. The more you put yourself out there, the more chance you have. You can shortcut the traditional job search by tapping into your network and asking your friends if they are aware of opportunities where they work.

Job listings are dynamic, so for any job posting, get your application in the first week or two of the job announcement date, because that’s when recruiters are actually paying attention to the responses. Align your resume to the keywords of the job description, because that is how recruiters will find you. If your resume matches their keywords chances are you’ll at least get a call. Hang in there, stay focused, have faith, keep putting in applications, keep asking friends, and eventually, you will find your next opportunity.

“ Job hunting is like sales, it’s a numbers game. The more you put yourself out there, the more chance you have. —MARK BOTROS

Here’s a very common scenario: You are at a meeting or training class, and you don’t know anyone. The person leading the meeting suggests that the group go around and introduce themselves. This is your first impression moment, and you have 20-30 seconds – if that. What you say next will determine whether you are someone of quality and value or someone others will choose to forget.

What you need is an “elevator speech”.

An elevator speech is a personal commercial that is a short summary that’s all about you. It lasts no longer than a short elevator ride – hence the name. It’s interesting, memorable, and explains what makes you unique and valuable. And they can be tailored for different audiences and different settings.

At today’s speed of business, and with communications trending towards shorter, 140 character sound bytes, it becomes critical for us to be able to tell our story efficiently and effectively. The role of the elevator speech is actually vital not only for good first impressions and personal presentation, but it could be your key to potential advancement.

The idea behind having a elevator speech ready is that you are prepared to share key information with anyone (especially senior managers) at any time, in the time it takes an elevator to move between floors.

Sophisticated professionals are keenly aware that first impressions are made in a matter of seconds and from moment to moment they have to be at their best. Whether they are intentionally doing so or not, these top performers, who are usually on their game, have a pre-thought, pre-rehearsed, elevator speech handy and ready to give at a moment’s notice.

The kind of information you would include in your elevator speech is as follows:

• Who are you? (Name)
• Where are you from? (States or elsewhere)?
• What is your educational background (studies, school name)?
• What part of the organization are you supporting? (Your division or department)
• What projects or programs are you currently supporting? (Especially any high visibility projects, but only if they are going well)
• One or two unique/interesting facts about you.
• What is something big that you are accomplishing right now?
• Special skills that you bring to the organization
• Why did you pick this line of work?
• What level experience do you have in your line of work? (Past employment, service time, etc.)

Here are some situations where having a elevator speech will be handy:

• Meeting new people in any situation (a company meeting, a networking event, or even a wedding or large personal gathering)
• Anytime you meet with a senior manager (bumping into them in the hall, on an elevator, at a meeting, or as part of your regular one on one with them).
• Anytime someone asks you what you do for a living
• Anytime someone asks you to give an overview of your career (in an interview)
• Anytime someone asks you to give a status on what you’re working on
• Before you give a presentation (if you or your background have not already been introduced)

Effective elevator speeches take practice, and they shift depending on your audience and setting. Depending on your setting, you can close your elevator speech with a:

• Question to the other person
• Your next action or milestone
• A call to action
• An invitation for follow-up

I would say there are three types of elevator speeches:

• The 1-Line Tweet – A single, memorable one-line statement about what makes you unique. An example of this might be, “Hi, I’m Butch. I’m a former Navy Seal turned Florist.”
• The 10-Second Spot – A short story about yourself that can be told in about 10 seconds. Using the same example, “Hi, I’m Butch. I’m a former Navy Seal turned Florist. Instead of killing people and destroying things, after the Seals, I decided to make people happy and grow things instead.”
• The 30-Second Ad – A deeper dive that describes you in more detail. Again using Butch, “Hello, My name is Charles, but my friends call me “Butch”. I was in the Navy Seals for 7 years. After I left the Seals, I felt the need to do something that would continue to make a difference, but one that didn’t involve killing people or destroying things. So I became a Florist. I actually manage a shop in Springfield. The next time you are in the area, feel free to stop by, we’ll take good care of whatever you want. Here is my business card.”

Because our lives are dynamic, it’s okay if your elevator speech changes. As you address different people in different situations. It will certainly change as your career evolves over time.

Your elevator speech is all about you, so take the time to develop and practice it. And have fun with it.

“ Sophisticated professionals are keenly aware that first impressions are made in seconds. —MARK BOTROS

My wife has a mantra that she has instituted in our home, “the people we love the most are the people we are the kindest to.” I love this statement because it always reminds me where I need to prioritize my time, and even more importantly, my energy.

The Problem

We typically give the best of our time, our energy, and our talent to our customers, partners, friends, colleagues, and just about anyone who isn’t our family. Yet, when we get home after 9 or 10 hours leaving it all on the field, or rather at the office, what do we give to our loved ones and those closest to us? We give them our “leftovers”, our realness, our annoyance, our exhaustion, and our anger – certainly not our best – or at minimum, we are tempted to treat them this way. And believe you me, I GET IT, after 9 or 10 hours going “all ahead full” at work or in the business, sometimes you’re just done. However, this brings up a couple of honest questions:

1. What message are we really sending to our loved ones?

If you work outside (or even inside) the home, there is already a tension between business and personal life. Your family doesn’t see you enough, and they feel it. The problem is worsened when our attitude coming through the door, (walking out of our home office), is one of tiredness, emotional and physical sensitivity,  and annoyance. Your family wants and needs the best of our time and energy, but we just spent 9 or 10 hours giving all of that to someone else in the pursuit of what? Making money?! When we are not able to switch on in a positive way for the sake of our loved ones when we come home from work, what it communicates to them is that they matter less than someone else – someone else who is not their family; Someone else who is not their husband or wife or their father or their mother. The message that is is that they (the very family you helped build) are secondary to you.

2. What example are we setting for them?

The example and tone that we set, sets it for the rest of our family. The model we are giving them is that we give our best to our jobs, businesses, colleagues, customers, partners, managers, and our employees; and we give everyone at home the “leftovers” – what’s left of our time and energy.

That’s exactly what we do when at the end of the day we’ve treated everyone else better than our family. None of us ever intends to treat those closest to us like second-class citizens, but it’s very easy for our family to see where our priorities are by the way we treat other people relative to them. If we treat everyone else with a smile, politeness, and human dignity, shouldn’t we do at least the same for those we helped give birth to? And those we share a bed with?

When we are at home, we need to be consciously aware that we don’t treat our loved ones with anger, annoyance, and frustration. When we do that it sends a clear message and a clearer example that that is the way we treat family. Guess how our children will treat their spouses and their children when they get home from work? Exactly the way we treat them. We are their model. After all who else do they have to look to but us?

The truth is we need to treat everyone well – the way we want to be treated. And that applies especially to our family and loved ones. At the end of the day, our jobs and businesses will change and evolve, our income will come from different sources as we progress in life, but we only get one family and we need to ‘treat them like our number one customer’.

“ We need to treat our families like our number one customer. —JEFFREY FOX, 'HOW TO BECOME CEO'

A Solution

Oftentimes, all we need to help us is a transition period between work and home. Personally, I often work at such an intense level, that I know I need it. So, I do some of the following to help in that transition, and I offer it to you as a solution to consider as well:

• Reflect on the things I am grateful for from the day
• Listen to an audiobook
• Let my mind wander
• Sing a little to myself
• Say some simple prayers
• Close my eyes and meditate for a few minutes

That said, before I’m ready to engage my family, the final thing I do is I have my own little mantra that I usually say to myself (you can modify this to suit your own needs if you choose to use it):

“I am about to walk through this door. This is the best part of my day. I don’t know what I may be walking into, the house might be a disaster and everyone may be in a terrible mood, but I am here now, and despite all of that, I’m going to bless my family with my time, love and attention. I may not do this perfectly, but I’m going to do my best. If nothing else, my family will know that I am glad to see them. Here we go…”

“ The people we love the most are the people we are the kindest to. —MARK'S WIFE

1. Leave work early
2. Take a nap
3. Have a piece of fruit
4. Listen to a favorite song or genre of music
5. Do Yoga
6. Go for a walk
7. Go for a run
8. Take a moment to text a friend or family member
9. Give a hug to your spouse or your kids
10. Watch a short but funny YouTube video
11. Have a cup of tea
12. Play a short game on your mobile device (e.g. A Word find or scramble, a crossword puzzle, a sudoku, solitaire, or even a few minutes of an action game)
13. Take a few moments to think, reflect, breathe and meditate
14. Color in a coloring book (it’s now an IN thing for adults)
15. Listen to a few minutes of an audiobook or podcast
16. Read a few pages from that novel that you’ve been enjoying so much
17. Doodle
18. Connect with a colleague that energizes you
19. Go for a drive
20. Take a few minutes to journal your thoughts
21. Intentionally “butt-dial” someone you haven’t talked to in a while
22. Surprise Skype / FaceTime someone that you enjoy talking to
23. Grab a healthy snack
24. Sing a song to yourself
25. Do a quick, casual Google search on the topic of interest
26. Do a little online window shopping
27. Watch a 20-minute movie snippet
28. Watch an episode (or season) of your favorite show

• You need to do something to earn them. If you overly reward yourself, then it diminishes the value of the reward if you did little or nothing to earn it.
• They need to be healthy, sustainable, and/or done in moderation
• They can’t conflict with other goals (e.g. Eating a Costco Chocolate Cake would not be a good reward for starting a new workout regimen)
• They must actually be satisfying to you. They need to feel like rewards.
• They are proportional to the task. One of my closest friends and Information Marketing Guru, Dave Hamilton once told me that when he took his business to a certain level that he and his partner decided to reward themselves by taking their wives out to an exclusive high-end restaurant – and splurge on all the best things on the menu.

Have you ever felt the “Sunday Night Dread”? The “Sunday Night Dread” is a phrase I coined to express the feeling you get every Sunday night before going into work on Monday morning. It’s that feeling of not looking forward to what you’re going to face the next day.

You’re not looking forward to facing your email, your boss, that colleague that you don’t like so much, that project which has been a bear. In short, you feel unmotivated, overwhelmed, and underprepared. Whatever the reason may be, the “Sunday Night Dread” is real and we have all felt it at one point or another whether in school, at work, or in business. Admittedly, I have too many dreaded Sunday nights myself. So since it’s such a common feeling, and since the feeling of dread is a close cousin of fear, what follows are some strategies I have used personally for overcoming the “Sunday Night Dread”:

1. First, take a moment and breath alone, lay on the floor for 15 minutes away from everyone and everything, in a dark and lonely room. Get centered and calm.

2. Second, confront your week head on, pull out your schedule, pull out your to-do list, prioritize the most wildly important items, and plot them on your schedule. Be sure it’s realistic. A highly efficient person can accomplish 5-7 things, assuming there are no obstacles. Realistically, we should schedule no more than 1-3 really important things per day.

3. Next, take one easy action on your to-do list and do it right then and there. This should be something you could accomplish in 10 minutes or less. This will pick off some low-hanging fruit, get yourself a quick win, and start your week with some momentum.

4. Finally, reward yourself in a way that is healthy and meaningful.

“ The ‘Sunday Night Dread’ is that feeling of not looking forward to Monday. —MARK BOTROS

All of us are plagued by something that we don’t want to do, and we’ve been putting it off for some time. It may be starting a business, going back to school, pursuing a new certification, taking a compliance training, starting a workout regimen, re-organizing the garage or our personal space, balancing our checkbook, or maybe estate planning. Whatever it is, there is something that is undesirable about it to us.

We do not associate any pleasure with that activity, or we’re afraid of it for some reason. Perhaps tackling our finances will reveal a weakness or imbalance in our spending. Perhaps going back to school will take us away from our family and friends. It may be that going for that new certification may suck out 6 months of our life for study and exam preparation. Whatever it is, it is unsavory to us, but we also know it is important, and that’s why we’ve been putting it off. We know we need to do it. As a recovering procrastinator myself, these are the techniques I use personally to avoid relapse:

1.  Get negative leverage on yourself – Think about all the bad things, detractors, inconveniences, negatives, and painful outcomes that will come from not taking action on that thing

2. Think Nike – Just do it

3. Don’t aim for perfection – Getting started is often the hardest part. Don’t aim for perfection, or analyze it until you are blue in the face, just aim for getting it started, and then aim to get it done. Remember, done is better than perfect.

4. The 5-minute start – Set a countdown timer for 5 minutes, start whatever it is you’ve been putting off, and then when 5 minutes is up, you can either stop and reward yourself, or keep going if you want, and reward yourself.

5. The countdown timer – Set a timer for 20-30-40 or 50 minutes and work on that thing just for that amount of time. When you are finished you can either stop or continue with the task. In either case though, you should reward yourself for the effort.

6. Break it up – Take that overwhelming activity and break it down into bite size chunks that we can handle. Smaller activities with shorter timelines are more motivating. You can’t iron your whole wardrobe, but maybe you can iron one shirt every day over two weeks.

7. Reward greater difficulty – When you’ve done something you really don’t want to do, reward yourself for doing it. The bigger the challenge, the bigger the reward.

8. Get positive leverage on yourself – Think about all the positive benefits, blessings, and pleasurable outcomes that will come from taking action on that thing

“ Remember, done is better than perfect. —FRED GLEECK, INFO PRODUCT EXPERT

I mentioned rewards a lot. The reward needs to be something motivating, but also good for you, because if you’re going to reward yourself often (as you should) then the reward can’t be a King Size Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup every time – even though I would love that. The reward needs to be something healthy, satisfying, and that signals self-appreciation to your brain. It could be taking a break, going for a walk, taking 15 minutes to read a little bit of that novel you’ve been loving so much, listening to a song, doing a little yoga, texting a friend, or watching a short funny clip on YouTube. Whatever it is, it has to feel like a reward. Rewarding yourself is important, because if you ignore the reward, then your brain will rebel and become unwilling to follow you in the future. It will be harder to get your brain on board with things you want to do because it will remember that you promised yourself a reward and didn’t give it. So, it will find even more creative ways and rationalizations to put things off. Rewarding yourself regularly convinces your brain that you actually care about yourself, and it will comply if it knows a reward is coming.

Did you enjoy this post? Become an Insider and subscribe. You will get all my latest musings and insights delivered FREE right to your Inbox. What do you have to lose? Also, feel free to share and comment in social media, and/or connect with me personally, I would love to hear from you.

Leadership literature tends to focus on the leader themselves, the qualities that they need to have, as well the tips, tricks, tactics, and techniques they need to be successful. However, one of the most critical and underrepresented leadership skills is that of building community and how to do it effectively.

Over the years, I have observed (and personally implemented) many of the following to bond and build unity, community, and camaraderie within groups or organizations:

1. Physical or Virtual Proximity – This is accomplished by physical placement of people in close proximity to one another (like in a “war room” or a row of dedicated cubicles just for your team), or creating an online community through social media or even an email distribution list. You can also bond people together through virtual meetings, conference calls, or video conferences where they can see each other or interact virtually on a regular basis.
2. Food / Shared Meals – There is an inexplicable magic that happens when people gather around food. Whenever food is present it naturally brings people together, it breaks the ice, it’s a conversation topic itself, and provides a shared experience.
3. Lots of time spent together – The more time we spend around a group of people the more they grow on us and vice versa. We get to know them, we get to understand them, and we may grow to like them.  While it’s not universally true, there is a proportional relationship to the time we spend with people and our ability to bond with them.
4. Give them a problem to solve – There is nothing more bonding than a group of people gathered around a difficult problem. The brainstorming, interaction, the active engagement, involvement, and the eventual solving of that problem is a shared experience that people remember and that bonds them together.
5. Don’t Waste a Good Crisis – Crises pull people together in a very powerful and profound way. September 11th, 2001 brought the people of the United States together in a way that we had never experienced in recent history. It also showed us that, as a people, we are resilient, patriotic, and community minded when it truly counts. It was a moment of tragedy and one of great pride. Rahm Emanuel (Former Chief of Staff to President Obama and Mayor of Chicago) once said, “You never let a serious crisis go to waste. And what I mean by that it’s an opportunity to do things you think you could not do before.” He is often negatively misquoted, but what he’s saying is that a crisis reveals who we really are and what we are capable of in the toughest moments. But more than that, crisis has the potential to not only creates the opportunity to do things that you couldn’t do under normal circumstances, but it also can bond people together.
6. Give them a common cause or purpose – This is very common among professional or college sports fans. The fans have a common cause and that is to see their favorite team win. You also see this among those who engage in societal causes like “Occupy” or “Black Lives Matter”. However, this can be emulated on a smaller scale, such as serving the homeless, volunteering together, going on a mission trip, or putting on a fundraiser to benefit an overlooked segment of society.
7. Create a common enemy – I share this not because, I’m an advocate of creating enemies, but because I’ve observed that it is a method of creating a bond among people. Getting back to our sports team analogy. Most sports teams, and their fans especially have a rivalry of some kind. Click here for ESPN’s view on some of the most famous rivalries. However, political parties and governments also do this to suit their own purposes. They create and build-up rivalries or enemies and gather their people against those enemies. For example, The Republicans and Democrats, Middle Eastern countries and Israel, the United States and Terrorists, the North Koreans and the United States. Remember people want to feel included. Creating an “us” and “them” is a powerful method of inclusion that unites people. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just saying it works.
8. Give them a shared experience – Every year our family gets involved in an International Festival that features incredible food and music from all around the world. It’s a pretty amazing event that has grown to be the largest single event in our city. But aside from the fundraising aspect of it, one of its purposes is to create a shared experience for those who are serving. The event serves the community, but it also includes the homeless, first responders, and the military. The bonding that happens from that shared experience among all of us who put it on can be felt for the rest of the year.
9. Have fun or celebrate together – When an individual or a team accomplishes a milestone, it’s critical to reward that accomplishment with some kind of celebration. Psychologically, it’s satisfying, because the mere act of celebrating acknowledges and recognizes the work behind that accomplishment, and it not only honors the individual or team but also motivates others to do the same. Another bi-product of celebrating is that it sends a positive message to the individual or team that “your accomplishments matter to us, and we recognize them here”. This sort of loyalty to the individual creates reciprocal loyalty for the organization.
10. Have them in your home – If you want instant connection and bonding, inviting someone into your home will accomplish just that. “Visiting” and hospitality is a bit of a lost art form in American culture. Unless it’s associated with a special occasion like a kid’s birthday party or holiday event, people typically don’t just “visit” in their homes. When we open our home to someone, they see us where we live, they see our private sanctuary, and where we go to escape the world. When people see this in us, they feel bonded to us.

“ Remember, people want to feel included and accepted. —MARK BOTROS

Did you enjoy this post? Join the conversation by leaving a comment, or become an Insider and subscribe. You will get all my latest musings and insights delivered FREE right to your Inbox. What do you have to lose? Also, feel free to share and comment in social media, and/or connect with me personally I would love to hear from you.

In an economic environment where corporations can easily outsource work to other countries for less, where salaries are not increasing but are actually decreasing, where layoffs are a reality even in the most robust economic areas, and all so that companies can meet Wall Street expectations – fear of losing one’s job is not only valid but statistically possible.

However, generally speaking, that fear causes us to put up with a lot of silliness that we would not otherwise put up with if we felt more secure in our positions. Fear causes us:

• To put up with ridiculously unhealthy work conditions and environments
• To put up with processes that don’t work or take too long
• Not to question the people and the things around us that don’t make sense

“ Fear of losing our job causes us to put up with a lot of silliness that we would not put up with otherwise. —MARK BOTROS

There are so many things that you cannot control. You cannot control the broader economic environment or your organization’s bottom line. There are so many factors that determine your bottom line: your customers, your reputation and perception in the marketplace, your marketing and PR, your organizational leadership (whether that is you or someone else) and the ability to create compelling strategies and execute accordingly. Even if you work in non-profit or government, funding always has an impact on you.

However, there are several things you can do despite fear:

1. Let it Go – First, we need to let go of fear. If the company wants to make Wall St. happy, then management may eventually have to make unsavory choices. If your organization has had a cut in funding, that is something you cannot control, nor should you spend time worrying about something that may or may not happen.
2. Resume – Has it been a while since you’ve dusted off your resume? There is no time like the present to polish it up and get it ready for your next gig.
3. Network – It has been a while since your network has heard from you. So, now would be a good time to start reaching out to them, and hint that you may be in the market.
4. Increase Value – Show yourself as having higher value so the company needs you (e.g. learning a new critical skill, working in a new/ critical function, or step up and help solve some of the inefficiency in your organization or company)
5. Sales – Typically companies will not lay off salespeople, sales support, sales engineering, or anyone related to sales. Generally speaking, if a company is not selling, it’s not able to function. Delivery of products and services is a different story, that can fluctuate, and companies will either “plus up” on people to deliver products and services – or they will make due with less – but they always need sales – otherwise they have no one to deliver to.
6. Critical Roles – Look into other critical functions like finance, accounting, tax, contracts, project management, engineering, software development, IT Support – oftentimes there is no shortage of these jobs, and they are typically in demand
7. Don’t Wait – If you do feel that your job is in jeopardy, take control of your destiny and start actively looking immediately for another opportunity
8. Diversify – Diversify your skill set, learn on your own, watch some YouTube videos, take some additional training or work in a different job function. We live in an age where companies value people who don’t just specialize, but who can do anything – if you’re a business owner who would you keep, the person who can do just one job, or multiple jobs? (Hint: this is how I survived five rounds of layoffs)
9. Side Business – Start that side business you’ve always wanted dreamt of. The additional income may help you in case of a “rainy day”
10. Save Save Save – Speaking of “rainy days”, sock away as much emergency money as you can. If the unfortunate should happen, you will need funds and a good financial plan to carry you until you find your next income source.

Fear of losing your job is real and valid, and while you can’t control the broader environment, you can decide to increase your value starting now, or you can prepare accordingly. Either way, you can look fear in the face and know that you have a plan to protect yourself from catastrophe.

Did you enjoy this post? Join the conversation by leaving a comment, or become an Insider and subscribe. You will get all my latest thoughts and insights delivered FREE right to your Inbox. What do you have to lose? Also, feel free to share and comment in social media, and/or connect with me personally I would love to hear from you.

Hard talks are an inevitable part of the human experience. All of us encounter difficult and awkward situations at work and in our personal lives, and at the heart of those situations are (you guessed it) difficult and awkward people that are usually the source of the problem.

No one (except psycho- and socio- paths) wakes up in the morning intent on doing harm to other people. Most people do not think they are the bad guy, they genuinely act out of their own sense of good will. They genuinely think they are doing the right thing. So how do you address them in a clear, elegant and respectful way?

1. Understand all sides of the situation – The side that you saw or that was presented to you (by your informer) is just one side, there is always more to the story. When the police take statements from witnesses they gather as many statements as possible to triangulate what actually happened. Before having your hard talk you want to be sure you have a complete picture, so as you ask for “statements” do so in a “seeking to understand” way, not in a “witch hunt” way.

2. Have all your facts straight – the worst thing is going into a hard talk misinformed with incorrect, little, or no information. The person you are talking to will immediately get defensive because they will jump to correct your facts and fill in what you don’t know. They will become more entrenched in their position, and won’t be able to hear the genuine message that you have for them. You will also have lost any credibility you had with them. Hard talks are sensitive moments, and you want to go in overly informed.

3. Figure out what the real truth is – Once you have all of the perspectives, all of the context, and all of the facts, you then have to determine, in your mind, the real truth of things. Because we live in a world where truth is relative, and people are quicker to believe their version of the truth than what is actual and real, you may need to provide some much-needed perspective and insight that only your fact-finding could bring to light. Too often once a person is convinced of their truth, they stop looking for the truth, and you may need to correct some people’s perceptions about a situation or a person.

4. Have the talk in private – the only time you correct or challenge someone in public is if they are being openly and blatantly obnoxious, disrespectful, and belligerent, and even then you need to be cool about it. Don’t take the bait, just politely ask them to be quiet, sit down, or leave the room. Take the high road and you will always have a better view. Otherwise always have hard talks in private away from prying ears. The best hard talks are done in private over a meal and beverage. I’ve also had many hard talks while going on walks outside. The fresh air is often disarming.

“ Take the high road and you will always have a better view. —ADMIRAL SINCLAIR HARRIS, US NAVY (RETIRED)

“ You can say anything to anyone, it’s all in how you say it. —MARK'S WIFE

“ Most people do not think they are the bad guy, they genuinely think they are doing the right thing. —MARK BOTROS

In my post, Email Common Sense 101 I talk about what good email etiquette looks like. Since texting is the other major form of non-in-person communication, I would feel remiss if I didn’t provide some equivalent etiquette around texting. Texting has dominated text-based communication for many reasons:

1. Mass Adoption! Mobile devices are everywhere (there are more mobile devices than people in the world – (as of November 2019) there are more than 9.3 billion devices – according to gsmaintelligence.com; there are 7.6 billion people in the world according the US Census Bureau; and according to Pew Internet Research 81% of mobile phone owners text vs. 52% that are using their phones to email. According to USAToday, mobile phone users use the SMS (or Share by text) button 3-4x more often than they use the Twitter share button.
2. Texting can be done synchronously (in real-time) or asynchronously (with delay at your convenience)
3. Texting requires low bandwidth and can be done anywhere at anytime
4. Texting can be short form, long form and can include multimedia (like images, sound, and video clips)
5. Texting is entertaining
6. Texts get our attention
7. Texts provide immediate gratification
8. The device-to-device nature of texting makes texting highly personal
9. Texting can be very personable as you can somewhat transmit emotion through emojis
10. Texts can quickly transmit logistical info, “Let’s meet at Starbucks at 9:30.”
11. Texting can be an individual or group communication
12. People need an informal means of communication, and texting is one of the most widely used, aside from in-person, and social media
13. Texting allows for multiple conversations at once.

In terms of etiquette, texting is informal by nature, so we almost need to take our etiquette from in-person communication and tailor it to electronic media.

Texting Etiquette

1. Length doesn’t really matter, but in the case of texting – shorter is better – longer, more detailed conversations are better done as a phone call or in person
2. Texting should not be used for complex business transactions, communications, and collaborations. Use a more formal means of communication like in-person meetings, video conferencing, phone and email for business matters.
3. Special occasion responses (e.g., party invitations for graduations, engagements, weddings, baby showers, etc.) should typically be done via the requested mode for RSVP, unless you are explicitly instructed to RSVP by text in the invitation.
4. In initiating a text conversation, you must always identify yourself if you’ve never texted with them before, otherwise, they are wondering who you are, and will be resistant to anything you say.
5. In initiating a text conversation, it’s always nice to use a pleasantry when opening a text conversation like “Happy Friday” or “I hope your day is going well.”
6. For some people texting is personal space, so text with someone that you feel comfortable connecting with in such a personal way.
7. Texting should never ever ever ever be used to transmit breakups – That’s just cowardly and you are better than that, and anyone who would ever break up with you using a text is someone you do not want in your life anyway, so move on, you’re better off without them.
8. Use acronyms and shorthand that the other person knows, and define acronyms for them if you’re not sure whether they know them or not
9. In the same way that someone is speaking to you, you want to acknowledge them and what they say. The same is true for texting. Don’t leave a person hanging for days and weeks. Reply at an appropriate time. If it is an urgent question, answer right away. If it is less urgent, you can wait on it, but it would be good to at least acknowledge the text in some way, like “Thanks for letting me know.”, “Great to hear from you.”, or “Let me check on that and get back to you.”
10. If you found that you missed a text and never responded, just simply acknowledge it, apologize for it, and reply. For example, “I’m so sorry I missed your text, I just saw it…”
11. Be aware that when you are in group text situation, everything you write could be read by everyone else
12. The best forms of communication in order: In-person, Video (e.g. Skype, FaceTime, Google Duo, or Zoom), Phone (Voice-to-Voice), Texting (because it’s informal and personal), and email (which is considered a little more formal).
13. Please, do not text when you are in the middle of a conversation, work, or a social situation where you should otherwise be present and engaged. Most mature, civilized people agree that it’s rude.

All in all, what is etiquette? It’s not just a way of behavior, it is a way of behaving that is classy and doesn’t offend people. If I were to give you one etiquette takeaway it’s this, treat others better than the way you want to be treated, and you’ll never go wrong.

Common Acronyms for Text Messaging / E-Mail / Chat

The following links contain a comprehensive set of texting and other electronic communication shorthand. At minimum, the following links are informative and entertaining. That said, because texting contains the lowest common denominator for our English vernacular, some of the following links do contain shorthand for less-than-proper language. I thought you would appreciate knowing that up front. Enjoy!

Short Lists of Popular Texting / Email / Social Media Acronyms

http://www.netlingo.com/top50/popular-text-terms.php

http://www.smart-words.org/abbreviations/text.html

Comprehensive Lists of Texting / Email / Social Media Acronyms

http://www.netlingo.com/acronyms.php

http://www.webopedia.com/quick_ref/textmessageabbreviations.asp

“ Treat others better than the way you want to be treated, and you’ll never go wrong. —MARK BOTROS

Did you enjoy this post? Join the conversation by leaving a comment, or become an Insider and subscribe. You will get all my latest thinking delivered FREE right to your Inbox. What do you have to lose? Feel free to share and comment in social media, and/or connect with me personally. I would love to hear from you.