In this episode, we talk about what all great projects have in common. Specifically, we focus on the three most important aspects of every well-run project.

00:00 Welcome
00:35 In my 25 year career
01:25 How do you know if a project well?
01:49 How do you know if you’re current project is going well?
03:11 What’s really at stake with this project
03:56 What to do if things aren’t going well
05:13 The consequences of thinking short term
06:03 How do you measure project success?
06:13 Tell a Friend!
06:29 Our Sponsor

In a previous post Why we need a holiday from our screens, I talked about what we gain when we actually turn our screens off. I also talk about a number of alternatives to spending time on our screens. But what happens when the unthinkable happens – when we have no service or no battery life, and we have no choice but to switch off? What do we do then? In this this episode we consider some alternatives.

What is an entrepreneur? An entrepreneur is someone who operates a business while taking on greater than normal financial risk – ok that’s the dictionary definition. An entrepreneur is also an artist who sees, gaps, opportunities and angles where other people simply see problems.

00:00 FULL INTERVIEW_Lessons in Wine, Life, and Business with Wine Mogul Chris Pearmund
00:07 Introduction
00:43 The Challenge of Making and Selling Wine
02:26 Chris’s brilliant marketing summary
03:51 Chris Pearmund’s Surprising Take on Entrepreneurship
06:43 What Chris gave up to be an entrepreneur
09:22 Does Chris Recommend Entrepreneurship to Everyone?
10:43 Finding “Gaps”
13:11 We are not in the Information Age, we are in the Decipher Age
14:06 Chris’s Closest Friends
14:26 Chris Greatest Life Lessons
14:38 What it takes to be wildly successful
17:40 How Chris learned fearlessness and confidence
18:54 Chris’s Final thoughts…How he wants to be remembered

Welcome to a very special edition of the LIFE WORKS podcast. We went on location to talk with wine mogul, Chris Pearmund at Pearmund Cellars Winery in Broad Run, Virginia.

Chris Pearmund – from as early as 7 years old, Chris always had an eye for seeing opportunities and solutions wherever he was. In his first business he turned an avocado tree in his back yard into a thriving enterprise – and that was just the start, he’s come a long way since that first Avocado tree. Today, he owns, manages, and consults with wineries across the country. In fact, he helped start nearly 20 wineries in Virginia alone. His headquarters is Pearmund Cellars, in Broad Run, VA, where we went on location to meet this incredible man.

If you thought you knew wine, life, or business – think again, because when your with one of the country’s leading wine masters there is so much more to learn — and Chris is just the man to teach us how to drink wine. Even if you don’t drink, don’t miss this incredibly fun and informative episode where we get into wine, life, business, and what it takes to be wildly successful.

R&B Star, Marcell Russell shares his incredibly pragmatic insights on Life, Business, Wealth, and Time.

Marcell Russell is a man of many many talents. A minister turned professional musician, Marcell experienced a meteoric rise in the music industry. Having written over 800 songs, he became the most awarded independent R&B artist in the city of Baltimore, Maryland –Getting critical acclaim from BET, The People’s Choice Awards, and ECHOES magazine, just to name a few. In fact, the music industry nicknamed him “The Voice” – and he was The Voice BEFORE it was a hit reality TV show. Today, he’s the CEO of a 50 person financial services firm. As a minister, musician, and entrepreneur, Marcell’s insights on life, wealth, and business are unique and worth listening to.

2020 sparked global conversations (and even protests) about race, police, and implicit bias. But it also shined a light on diversity, equity, and inclusion. And at the center of those conversations were black and minority communities.

As someone so embedded within the black community as a minister, musician, and today as CEO of a 50 person financial services firm, Marcell has an incredibly unique perspective that I think we all need to hear. You may think you’re “woke”, and you may think you already understand black culture — think again, because it is so much more.

TIME CUTS

00:10 Mark’s Opening question and Monologue
01:11 Is it a good time to be Black in America today?
02:53 The Flea and the Jar – The limits we place on ourselves
03:45 Two incidents
05:04 White Supremacy is Narcissism
05:55 Superiority over Melanin…Really
06:40 The Black Community is the 10th Wealthiest Nation in the World
07:15 Ignorance and Fear is passed down
08:53 You don’t have 24 hours in a
09:13 Why fathers matter
10:48 Wealth is lost within 2 generations
11:28 Take care of your own house first
12:54 Sentiment in the Black Community
16:10 2020 in the Black Community
16:29 I got pulled over 5-8 times per year
17:55 It’s not because you’re black
18:48 The real colors you need to worry about are not black and white
19:12 The positive things never get mentioned
20:04 White people are saying I’m sorry, and are asking, “what do you want me to do?”
21:11 What Marcell really thinks of Black Lives Matter (BLM)
21:44 Where is BLM’s money going?
23:27 I’m proud about what blacks are doing
24:17 Misconceptions about the black community
26:52 They clump groups together
27:50 Blaxploitation and efforts to undermine the Black Community
30:33 Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Initiatives – a good idea?
33:14 The Victim Agenda
33:55 The New Slavery
34:20 A United Black Community – what would that look like?
35:43 Trends in the Black Community
37:04 Real Wealth
37:33 Takeaways from 2020
38:15 To be continued…

Connect with Marcell:

Instagram: @marcellthevoice

Connect with Mark Botros:

https://marble.app/markbotros

Music Credit:

• Theme: “Fond Memories” – SYBS
• Preview: “Lifelong” – Anno Domini Beats

Photo and Media Credit(s):

• Marcell Russell
• Oak Hill Music
• Teddy Douglas
• Alexandra Koch
• Bamner
• CityXcape
• Mikhail Nilov
• Ketut Subiyanto
• KIndel Media
• KoolShooters
• Los Muertos Crew
• Marco Allasio
• Michael Kuelbel
• Monstera
• RODNAE Productions
• Freepik
• Joseph Redfield
• Artem Podrez
• Joseph Eulo
• Engin Akyurt
• Baris Seref
• Cottonbro
• Diva Plavalaguna
• Tony Schnagl
• Kampus Production
• Anastasia Shuraeva
• August de Richelieu
• Purplehorse
• Vecteezy
• Pexels
• Terje Sollie
• Tima Miroshnichenko
• Flea Video Credit: Jaiden Nardella, Luke Corallo, and Les Horovitz

There is a 100% probability that you and I are going to face death one day. Our mortality is a fact we don’t like to face, and often do little to prepare for until it’s too late. In fact, caring.com did a study in 2021 and found that 67% of American adults don’t even have a will.

Mary Beth Simon was preparing to retire from a 31 year career at Vanguard when her friend, Sue was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Sue asked Mary Beth to help her husband navigate the beneficiary process if she didn’t survive. Sue eventually passed away, and Mary Beth spent 3 months working with Sue’s husband to recreate their entire financial landscape. You see, Sue managed the finances and investments, not her husband. The pain of watching her friend pass on, and the pain of putting the pieces together of an entire life made Mary Beth realize that we all need to do a better job empowering our loved ones and business partners to take over for us in our absence.

Don’t miss this incredibly important interview it could save your family and your business.

TIME JUMPS FOR THE BUSY AND OVER-COMMITTED

00:00 Mark’s personal true story, why this episode is so relevant
03:22 Two-thirds of all American adults don’t have a contingency plan and WHY
05:16 The price of not having a contingency or estate plan
05:25 What’s the price of them not doing it?
06:28 The benefits of having a contingency plan
08:00 The people who prepare – this is what they are like
08:57 The people who prepare – this is what they all have in common
09:28 The AWARE contingency planning framework for our personal lives
11:00 The COPE framework for business continuity
12:48 The complete everything checklist
14:08 Annual reviews – when to do them
14:29 Digital or physical storage
17:53 The largest obstacles for getting started…and finishing
19:13 The password book
20:28 The second in command – What qualities should they have?
22:05 The contingency plan in action – it really works
23:46 Resources Mary Beth offers free and otherwise
24:45 Your next three moves
26:39 Speed Round
31:48 The one secret of success
32:23 The greatest lesson from life and business
33:06 If Mary Beth could offer one bit of advice to the world
33:59 Mary Beth’s final thoughts
34:32 Where people can find and connect with Mary Beth online

To connect with Mary Beth:

Website: https://nichepartnershipconsulting.net
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-beth-simon-npc/
Email: mbs@nichepartnershipconsulting.net

To connect with Mark Botros:

https://linktr.ee/markbotros

Music Credit(s):

Intro and Outro: “Fond Memories” – SYBS

Photo and Media Credit(s):

• Mary Beth Simon
• Karolina Grabowska
• Pexels
• Pixabay
• Freak
• Pch.vector
• Dooder
• CityXcape
• Aghyad Najar
• Engin Akyurt
• Olia Danilevich
• Anastasia Shuraeva
• Kindel Media
• Yaroslav Shuraev
• Roman Odintsov
• Taryn Elliot
• SwissHumanity
• Ivan Khmelyuk
• Thirdman
• Mego-Studio

Attribution Links

Medical vector created by freepik – www.freepik.com
People vector created by pch.vector – www.freepik.com
Background vector created by dooder – www.freepik.com
Water photo created by mego-studio – www.freepik.com

Rich Jacques is in the top echelon of business leaders today. His incredible career spans decades and includes senior leadership roles at Belcan and Booz Allen Hamilton, where he spent 21 years. Today, he’s the Vice President of Intelligence and Law Enforcement at Noblis, a non-profit advisory company that specializes in cutting-edge science and technology solutions and independent research.

In 2020, Rich was named one of the Top 5 Executives in Intelligence Contracting by the Potomac Officers Club. And it’s no surprise, Rich is easily one of the most subtle, savvy, and intelligent leaders out there today.

Come and get an insider’s look at how the most savvy and sophisticated professionals think, act, lead, and move their careers and lives forward. Pull out your journal, and take good notes as we do a deep-dive into, “The Savvy Professional”.

TIME JUMP TO THE FUTURE OR THE PAST

00:00 Opening Teaser and Welcome
02:05 How do you define a savvy or sophisticated?
03:06 How Rich does savvy
03:42 Can you develop sophistication?
05:29 How much time do you spend planning and thinking ahead?
07:01 The pie chart of how Rich spends his time
08:21 Executive presence
10:29 An interesting phenomenon … senior people in management who really shouldn’t be there, how do you explain it?
12:17 How to become the influential voice in the room
13:22 Was confidence something that you always had, or did you have to develop it?
14:49 Where do you derive your confidence from?
15:38 A typical day for Rich
18:57 What are the things that have really propelled your career forward the most?
23:31 How important is someone’s network in helping them advance their career or business?
25:52 How do to keep up with folks in your network?
27:21 How to be a brilliant conversationalist
29:12 FUN! Speed round.
32:00 Rich’s one secret of success
32:14 What’s the greatest lesson learned
32:49 Rich’s one piece of advice to the world
35:37 Rich’s final thoughts, what he wants most in life

To connect with Rich:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jacquesconnected/

To connect with Mark Botros:

https://linktr.ee/markbotros

Music Credit(s):

Intro: Inception – Aakash Gandhi
Outro: “Don’t Turn Back” Silent Partner

Photo and Media Credit(s):

Adyligou
Anna Shvets
Artem Padres
Booz Allen Hamilton
Cottonbro
fauxels
José Alfredo Munguía Lira
Kelly Lacy
khonkangrua_Video
Miguel Á. Padriñán
MrColo
Nazar Matveichev
Noblis
Pexels
Pixabay
Polina Kovaleva
Prakasit Khuansuwan
Pressmaster
Rich Jacques
RODNAE Productions
Ron Lach
Sumoyut
Tiger Lily
Tom Fisk
Treedeo Footage
Vecteezy
Videezy
Videvo
Zen Chung

How You Know a Reward is a Good Reward

I’m a huge fan of productivity, but I’m an even bigger fan of giving yourself rewards when you’ve really earned them like overcoming procrastination and taking action on something you’ve been putting off. What follows is a list of ideas to reward yourself in a healthy, fun, and sustainable way. Admittedly, these are small rewards that have particular appeal to me personally. So what may be a reward to me, may be the complete opposite for you. The idea here is to help spark your own ideas for good self-rewards.

Before COVID, my daughters were both competitive swimmers. One day I was volunteering as a timer at one of their divisional swim meets. While standing in the lane getting more and more wet with every passing heat (i.e. a group of swimmers who are lining to compete for their race), I saw hundreds of kids line up to swim that day. There were two children in particular, both were the same age, both came from the same socio-economic strata, both had about the same athletic level, same team, same coach, and even had the same color hair. But there was a key difference in the two children.

4 Steps To Start Your Week Even When You’re Not Ready

Have you ever felt the “Sunday Night Dread”? The “Sunday Night Dread” is a phrase I coined to express the feeling you get every Sunday night before going into work on Monday morning. It’s that feeling of not looking forward to what you’re going to face the next day.

Col. Tom Connally, is a retired United States Marine Corps officer; He’s the Founder and President of Connally Consulting; and the author of the breakthrough leadership book, “Becoming a Leader – A Roadmap for my Daughter and the Aspiring Leader”. In this episode he teaches us everything we need to know about being an effective and successful leader.

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN IN THIS INTERVIEW

01:22 Col. Tom’s Backstory
07:58 What is a leader vs what is a manager?
10:28 Overview of key concepts in the book, “Becoming a Leader”
12:38 The #1 thing you can for your people as a leader
14:23 “Chaplin” Connally
17:06 Leadership is an apprenticed vocation
17:37 How leaders build culture
17:57 Leadership is contextual
18:51 Personal Leadership – We need to lead ourselves first
21:43 Passions get you in a ditch real fast
22:44 You need more than goals – you need these as well
23:53 you can’t choose what kind of leader you need to be
25:54 Most battles are lost by commanders who give, not when they are beaten
27:28 When our will is strongest
28:52 What causes us to follow other people?
29:57 4 types of leaders (Competence and Character)
31:37 Are you supposed to be the leader?
33:04 Do bad leaders out number the good ones?
35:19 The misconceptions about Leadership
35:52 Can anyone lead?
37:47 How to change culture in an organization
42:28 What leaders need to give their people all the time
43:30 A Case Study in Culture Change: Deploying to Iraq
46:47 How to assess an organization to improve its performance and make it better
52:18 Why most leadership training is worthless
52:50 What our leaders need from US
54:44 Can anyone become a better leader at any point in their career, especially later?
55:31 Don’t sell the lawnmower
58:49 Where to find and connect with Col. Tom

To connect with Tom Connally

Website(s): https://connallyconsulting.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tom-connally-08488711/
Instagram: connally_consulting
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/247leadership

To connect with Mark

https://markabotros.com
Instagram: @markabotros
Twitter: @markbotros
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/businessstrategist/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mbotros/
Email: mark@markabotros.com
The LIFE WORKS Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-life-works-podcast/id1475582936

Podcast Music Credit

Track: Invincible
Artist: Aakash Ghandi
Used under YouTube License

Track: Memories — INOSSI [Audio Library Release]
Music provided by Audio Library Plus
Watch: https://youtu.be/GePAKPB6vQY
Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/Memories
Used under Creative Commons License

Photo Credit

Jordan Madrid

One of the most enjoyable aspects of my morning routine is daily meditation. The first documented practice of meditation dates as far back as 1500 BC. So it’s not a new fad, it’s an enduring ancient practice of pursuing inner peace, and its benefits are well-documented.

I had a fairly well-established morning routine, and as someone who measures the return on investment of time very carefully, I didn’t see the immediate value of meditation at first, but then I thought to try it to see how it would work for me, and I was amazed by what it did for me. Meditation did not produce any measurable scientific results, but what I got out of it was a greater sense of peace, stillness, and gratitude. I was also able to face the stress and the intensity of my daily life with greater ease, poise, and strength. I have come to depend on meditation for daily centering, and I feel the difference on the days that I don’t.

I’ve come to find that there is no right or wrong way to meditate. The key is that by the end, you feel more grateful, centered, and at peace than when you started. For me, meditation is about breathing and allowing my mind to go where it will within some straw-fences. Meditation experts say that I should probably clear my mind, but for someone like me whose mind is like New York City, I’ve let go of trying to shut down my mind but rather focus on several key items.

I’m someone who enjoys both structure and a little free play, so my meditation is a balance of structured thinking and mindful wandering. What I do for my own personal meditation is:

• Think about 3 things I am grateful for right now
• Think about who I am, and the best version of myself I want to become
• Think about what I want most for myself and my life
• Think about a moment where I recently felt overwhelmed by love or gratitude
• Concentrate on my breathing and heartbeat, and then allow myself to settle so I can sense my heartbeat pulsating in my hands.

And that where I typically finish my meditation.

Are you wondering how long all this takes? I set aside 8 minutes every day. That’s it. Remember, I want to do this daily so it has to be doable and sustainable. At an average of 8 minutes, it totally is. I’ve learned meditation doesn’t need to be a daily marathon, just a few minutes a day sets me on the right foot, and the long term effects on my mind, soul, and body can’t be measured. After all, how do you measure feeling centered, present, joyful, and at peace (well actually I’m working on a set of measures for those very things) If I’m honest, It helps me to be a better human being, and truly that is the outcome that truly matters.

We all have a little bit of Stage Fright. Whether we are interviewing, introducing ourselves in a meeting, giving a big presentation, writing a blog post, or singing in front of hundreds or thousands, we all have a little bit of stage fright. Stage Fright expert, Marti MacEwan, defines stage fright, performance anxiety, and imposter syndrome; uncovers the source of those concepts, talks about what is actually happening biologically when we get stage fright, and offers a real solution for curing it.

Marti MacEwan is a licensed, professional counselor and coach who specializes in stage fright, performance anxiety, and fear of public speaking for people in business, the arts, the professions, politics, and academics. She is the author and creator of, “The Stage Fright Cure”

In This Interview

01:10 Marti discovers the source of her own struggle with Stage Fright
03:57 A key insight started it all (brain vs. body)
05:58 Definitions of Stage Fright, Performance Anxiety, and Imposter Syndrome
09:29 The source of Stage Fright, Performance Anxiety, and Imposter Syndrome
13:49 Getting out of stage fright is not just a cognitive decision process
14:36 The connections between perceptions of past experiences and stage fright
16:37 How the meaning of events change after you do “the work”
17:41 Why people have stage fright
18:17 What we carry with us over the years
19:08 Holographic plates and our perceptions
21:00 An example of someone who suffered from stage fright, and why
22:37 The good news is…
22:48 What is happening biologically when we have stage fright
29:32 “Cafeteria plates”
30:40 Why it’s important to overcome stage fright
33:30 Unimpeding energy
36:23 The benefit of getting over stage fright
37:41 The secret of this “cure”
38:40 The Rapid Relief Process Framework
41:22 How the Stage Fright Cure differs vastly from other stage fright solutions
42:24 4 aspects of getting over Stage Fright
45:30 An eye-opening take on “confidence”
49:30 A case study of a dramatic turnaround
51:51 How long does it take to get over Stage Fright?
54:15 Marti’s 1-2-3 success formula
56:58 Marti’s greatest lesson learned
57:40 Marti’s goal
58:18 How to connect with Marti

CONCEPTS AND RESOURCES TO GOOGLE

• The Stage Fright Cure
• Thought Field Therapy
• Dr. Roger Callahan
• The Rapid Relief Process
• Stage Fright
• Performance Anxiety
• Imposter Syndrome
• Amigdala
• Hippocampus
• Thalmus
• Pituitary Glands
• Adrenal Glands
• Cortisol
• Pre-Frontal Cortex
• Vagus Nerve
• Polyvagal System
• Sympathetic Nervous System
• Parasympathetic Nervous System
• Autonomic Nervous System
• Acupuncture System
• Meridians
• Chakras
• Auric Field

All of us are plagued by something that we don’t want to do, and we’ve been putting it off for some time. It may be starting a business, going back to school, pursuing a new certification, taking a compliance training, starting a workout regimen, re-organizing the garage or our personal space, balancing our checkbook, or maybe estate planning. Whatever it is, it is unsavory to us, but we also know it is important, and that’s why we’ve been putting it off. We know we need to do it. As a recovering procrastinator myself, these are the techniques I use personally to avoid relapse.

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Let me tell you about Burnout. Burnout and I used to party a lot back in the day. He and I have shared legendary binges and  hangovers together.  I’ve always found that Burnout used to show up at my door at times when I have been out of balance for a very long time (e.g., going full force at work, or on some project without any reprieve or recovery).

But when Burnout arrives, his idea of a party doesn’t include anything fun like games, dancing, or wine & cheese platters. No, his idea of a good party, involved getting  angry, frustrated, moody, acting wildly out of character, and a host of other unhealthy behaviors.

He doesn’t mind alcohol or medication, in fact he prefers it, because those things cover up, conceal, and even prolong Burnout. He is not a good friend at all, but he has a surprising number of friends in his crew, like: Exhaustion, Illness, Anger, Frustration, Hopelessness, Overwhelm, Insomnia, Short-Term Thinking, Impaired Judgment, Apathy, Critical, Blind-Spot, Giving-up, Poor-Self-Image, and his rather rough friend Self-Destruction. I once dated his cousin Depression for about 6 months when I was younger. The thing with Burnout is that he’s a wandering nomad, and can sometimes be an unwelcome house guest. He starts by staying over a few days, but then days turn into weeks, and then he becomes so familiar that weeks can blend into months. He will move in, take over the place, and impact every area of our life. We can’t think straight, we can’t sleep, we can’t function normally at all. One by one, his friends and relatives start visiting more and more, and eventually some of them move in too. Over time, Depression will move in, because she is very attached to her cousin. And once she moves in she tends to takeover and is the hardest to evict. 

Burnout hates anything positive. In fact, he gets annoyed by fun, happy people, or any kind of healthy habit or activity. He loves being negative, apathetic, and even nihilistic. Positivity not only annoys him, but threatens him. Burnout hates breaks and vacations, and would much rather we just kept on working without asking for any help – after all we are the only ones who can do what we do, right? 

In my own work and life, I’ve partied with Burnout more than I care to admit – the frequent all-nighters in college; the frequent last-minute project deadlines; the business opportunities that took weeks or months to develop; the time I helped co-found a non-profit, and I worked 16-hour days for years on end to get it going and sustain it. I can be slow to learn these lessons, and it took me decades to figure out that just like a night of binge drinking can leave us with a significant hangover the next day, a time of binge working or service for long periods of time can leave us severely hungover with Burnout. And just like those times, with head hung over the toilet, we declare we are never going to drink that much again, I became so “beat up” by Burnout that I had to make some hard decisions after repeating the behavior over and over. The cycle had to end.  If you think you have struggled with Burnout, believe me,you are in good company.

How do you know if you are burned out? Let’s look at just some of the signs and symptoms that you may be strung out on Burnout.

1. You feel absolutely exhausted all the time
2. You feel “under the weather” with alarming frequency 
3. You have completely lost the spark, fire, or light you once had
4. You feel numb, hollow, or even dead inside
5. You feel no motivation whatsoever
6. You care less about your work
7. You care less about your reputation or how you look to others
8. You have given up hope of returning to a happy disposition
9. You feel negative about everything and everyone
10. You are frequently short and angry with people, you may even find yourself even snapping at them
11. Your self-confidence is completely shot
12. People come up to you and ask if you are alright, or even suggest that you need a break

It’s important to note that it’s very normal to feel many of these things over the course of a single bad day, week, or month. However, it’s a different story when we feel one or more of these symptoms over a longer period of time like weeks, months, or even years. Then we need to be genuinely concerned about Burnout. 

So what do we do about it? the answer is simple – The 4 R’s:

• Rest
• Recover
• Re-Create
• Restore

We must learn to build structured time into our life for rest, recovery, re-creation, and restoration in an effort to avoid, or evict Burnout. The worst thing we can do to him is to:

• Make definite decisions toward happiness and joy
• Surround ourselves with cool, inspiring and uplifting people
• Immerse ourselves in healthy food, drinking water, physical movement, breathing, and meditation
• Bathe ourselves in uplifting words
• Take days off and vacations
• Seek ways to make work more efficient, productive, playful, personable, and easy-going

The more we change our habits to include cycles of downtime, Burnout will eventually move out, and fade out of the picture entirely. 
Burnout may party like a rock star, but he has no redeeming qualities at all. And we can join him, and his crew, if we are not careful. The good news is, despite our thoughts to the contrary, we do have control over ourselves and how we spend our time and energy. None of us, myself included, is ever so busy that we have absolutely no time whatsoever to take a moment to breathe, stretch, drink some water, eat a healthy snack, shake off the stress, take a walk, do a little Yoga, or just take a moment to connect and confide in someone we love or trust. Sometimes, a listening ear is all we need. Too often we are deceived into thinking that news or social media will bring us restoration. Quite the contrary, in fact. These have been scientifically proven to bring down our emotional state rather than enhance it. We need to make better choices. We can say “no” to Burnout, but we must first say “yes” to ourselves and our own needs. Remember, put on your own oxygen mask first, and then you can help others with theirs. 

A Real Solution for Perfectionism

In my Blog Post, “Why I want a divorce…from Perfection” I talk about how Perfection can be like an unhappy spouse who is abusive, unreasonable, and never satisfied. It can prevent us from getting started, finishing, or making decisions. The reason why, is Perfection fears Imperfection and the possibility of making mistakes. Yet this fear is completely irrational because anything we do is bound to be imperfect either in our own eyes or in the eyes of others, but we cannot let it stop us from moving forward. Done is always better than perfect. Good is always better than perfect. If you struggle with Perfection like I often do, then this may provide a helpful out for you. I call it the 90% Solution. 

“ Perfection fears Imperfection.

“ Done is always better than perfect. Good is always better than perfect.

We all produce something in our work, but sometimes it can be a struggle to get started because we often think that it has to be perfect, which is unrealistic and unachievable. What is that thing you typically create? Whatever it is, you simply have to create it. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It only needs to be a 90% Solution. 

What is the 90% Solution? The whole idea behind it is when you create something – a document, product, deliverable, or solution of any kind, the temptation is to try to get it 100% perfect before we submit it to the stakeholders. The truth of the matter is, that your stakeholders are always going to have something to say about the thing you came up with. If you put any document or product in front of someone regardless of how perfect you think it is, they will find something wrong with it. The reason for this is that we view things, people, and circumstances all through our unique lens of experience. So anything you put in front of another human being, they could find fault with it. We shouldn’t take this personally, because that’s just how we are wired. 

Here’s how the 90% solution works:

1. Step one – Develop the product. Whether it’s a document, a presentation, a wiring diagram, a storyboard, an article, a screenplay, a music track, or a pilot episode – whatever it is, do your best with it and then give it to your peers to look at. What you give them should be your 90% solution.
2. Step two – give that product to your peers for their review. What they will then do is provide you feedback and input, and that might look like revisions, deletions, adjustments, or additions. Their input will likely get you to a 95% solution. 
3. Step three – Give that version to your stakeholders and they will provide you their input, and then you will have your 100% solution – or you will get additional information, or perhaps a change in direction entirely

What you submit to your stakeholders will never be perfect, you have to understand and accept that. The reason is that they know more than you do, they have greater context, they typically understand more of the bigger picture, or they have a perspective that you might not have at first. Besides, Perfection isn’t possible, because Perfection is meeting everyone’s expectations exactly as they think they ought to be met. And unless your superpower is mindreading, that is not always possible. Your stakeholders will likely shoot holes through whatever product you come up with, but once you have their input then you will be closer – or you will ultimately have your 100% solution.

The 90% solution does not apply to things like clearly quantifiable mathematical problems – like balance sheets or engineering problems. After all, if I’m going through the Lincoln tunnel in New York, I don’t want the calculations to be 90% right for that tunnel, I want those calculations to be 100% right. The same is true if I was going over a bridge, I don’t want there to be a 90% probability that the bridge will not fall apart, the 90% Solution only applies to business artifacts and documents that are transacted all the time.  This concept also does not apply to more artistic pursuits that are a personal expression of your talent or who you are. After all Michelangelo did not do a survey after painting the Sistine chapel nor did da Vinci have a focus group to get input on the Mona Lisa. When it comes to our personal expressions, many times we need to listen to our own voice, and be satisfied with our own work. Sometimes our personal expressions are deeper acts of spirituality and worship, and are not subject to the ratings of others. 

 The benefits of the 90% solution:

• It will help you get out of the perfectionist mentality, knowing that you only have to come up with 9/10 of the product
• It will save you time, potentially lots of time, if you are not focused on perfection
• It will save you aggravation
• It will move the artifact along to completion faster
• By only providing 90% of the Solution you leave some room for others to fill in the 10% gap. They will do it anyway, in this way, you are doing it intentionally, with forethought and deliberation. You are expecting others input and feedback anyway, this leaves intentional space for that input. 

It goes without saying that whatever your product, it should be proofread through and spellchecked. It should be reviewed and free from obvious errors. Just because we are aiming for 90% doesn’t mean it should be sloppy. Quite the contrary, our work is our signature, and a reflection of ourselves, so it should reflect the level of inner love, quality, and respect we want to project to the world. 

“ Our work should reflect the level of inner love, quality, and respect we want to project to the world.

Perfection is the enemy of the good, and often keeps us from taking the actions we need to. Perfection is a head game that we don’t need to play anymore. Fortunately we have ways to get our around our perfectionist tendencies. The 90% Solution will help you get started, make progress, and move things toward completion without the analysis or paralysis that often comes with Perfectionism.

“ Perfection is a head game that we don’t need to play anymore.

“ Perfection is the enemy of the good, and often keeps us from taking the actions we need to.

“ The 90% Solution allows us to get to a product faster, without the analysis or paralysis of Perfection.

8 Thoughts to keep your job fresh and exciting

5 minute read

A job, career, or a business can sometimes feel like a struggling romance. In the beginning, it’s all love, possibility, and adventure. But then over time, that volcanic love you had at first begins to cool. That job that you once fantasized about, has gotten a little older, more familiar, habitual, and routine. You begin to see that your chosen path wasn’t exactly how you imagined it would be; there is a lot less excitement than you expected; there is a lot more work and compromise involved; some of the bosses are good, but statistically, more of them are bad; some days are good, and some days are bad — really bad — so bad in fact, that you feel like you don’t want to do this anymore. I have felt this way many times throughout my own career. So what do we do when we feel like we’ve hit a wall in our job?

The unfortunate thing is, when jobs don’t seem to be going well, too often people just quit, thinking that will solve all their problems. In today’s climate, it is estimated that the average person could change jobs once every 12 months. But like divorce, the cost of job change can be expensive, both on the individual, and especially on the organizations they leave in their wake. Changing jobs doesn’t always solve our problems though. It may provide a temporary change or distraction, but oftentimes we carry our problems with us. Admittedly, I am an advocate for longer term tenures at a given job. So how do we navigate our job to keep it vibrant, growing, and exciting – for better or worse? In other words, how do we fall in love with our job again? What follows is a list of eight thoughts and suggestions that have been helpful to me over the years.

• Recommit – Life is all about decision, action, and forward motion, but sometimes we get off course. Recommitting reminds us that we are people of character, and people of character don’t just quit because they have a bad day, week, or month. When we recommit, we re-engage and get back on course.
• Go back to the beginning – Recall what made you excited about this job in the first place, reconnect with those things or with those people. Behave like you did in the beginning, revisit and restore some of those early connections and habits when you first started.
• Know there are ebbs, flows, and plateaus – Life is not a endless parade of entertainment, achievement, and peak experiences. An ideal life certainly has peaks, but it also has times of lower order activity, rest, and recovery, which is why we have sleep – our bodies need it. The key is to know where you are in that energy cycle. There are times when you achieve, but there are times when you hit a plateau, and you are just doing the work. And there are times when that work isn’t glamorous, in fact, those times can be boring and tedious. But sometimes we need to “man-up” and press forward, because they are often the things that lead to the height of achievement.

“ In life, there are ebbs, flows, and plateaus. The key is to know where you are in that energy cycle —“MARK

• Change it up – Sometimes we hit a point where we can’t do any more in our current role, and in those moments, we need to find something of variety in our job. That may include taking on a new initiative or a new responsibility. It may include going beyond our role to find ways to make our organization a little better, faster, operate at lower cost, with less risk, or with higher quality – or maybe we need to be the one to make our team environment more fun for everyone. You may need a change of scenery, working in a different space, supporting a different customer, supporting a different function, or solving a different problem altogether. You may even consider becoming the boss.
• Invest in ourselves – Sometimes we need to invest in our own professional development by reading some new books, going to industry conferences and workshops, pursuing certifications, or growing our existing skill-set in a meaningful way. All too often our careers get stale, because we have gotten stale, and stopped growing.

“ All too often our careers get stale, because we have gotten stale, and stopped growing. —“MARK

• Go out again – Nothing adds greater variety than adding to your list of contacts. Expanding your connections within your organization, in other companies, and in your industry gives you insight into the way other organizations work, and broadens your context. If the time comes that you do need a change, you will have more people to draw from.
• The grass isn’t always greener – Often we are tempted to think that if we quit, then everything will get better. The problem is, you bring yourself wherever you are, and all your problems with you. Changing jobs doesn’t always solve your problems, you have to do that by changing yourself and your perspective. Besides if you quit, you have to learn a whole new organization, you have to re-establish your network there, and you have to re-establish all the context you lost in the move. You never know, by leaving, you might just be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. In other words, leaving your job can also have some unintended consequences.

I once knew a gentleman that worked in a niche function, but changed jobs every 6-8 months. He would get into a job, but no sooner than he was in the job, he would start looking elsewhere. It got to a point where his “bouncing around” became so well known by both colleagues and employers in his industry that eventually no one would hire him.

“ Changing jobs doesn’t always solve your problems, you have to do that by changing yourself and your perspective. —“MARK

• Look for the good – Gratitude is a simple but profound choice. And that choice is always within our power. When we take a step back, take stock of how blessed we really are to have this job, career, or business; to have that paycheck, customers who value us, benefits, colleagues to grow with, and a purpose that wakes us up every day – we may find that we are luckier than we think.

To be sure, there are job, career, or business situations that are irreparable, toxic, or operate unethically. In those types of situations, sometimes we have no choice but to leave.

However, if the situation is positive overall, but has become routine and boring, and has some occasional bad days (by the way, all jobs have occasional bad days) leaving doesn’t solve it for us long term. Ultimately, the answer is — WE have to change. We have to take responsibility for our own rut, after all we allowed ourselves to get into it. We have to change the way we think, gain a healthier perspective, recapture our gratitude, alter the way we speak about our work to ourselves and others, and transform our daily habits to align with the needs of our growth. To maintain passion for our jobs, careers, and businesses, we have to evolve as the environment evolves, and stay ahead of our own boredom. We need to become better than we are, and approach our jobs, careers, businesses differently than we did before – otherwise that plateau may become a slippery slope.

12 “Wisdoms” That Built a Legacy

On July 9, 2019, H. Ross Perot (Amercian Business Magnate and two time U.S. Presidential Candidate) entered the hallowed halls of history, never to be seen on the world stage again. He was known for his signature look, his Texan twang, and his wildly down-to-earth approach to speaking with people. Even though he is gone, the wisdom he bequeaths to all of us is priceless.  

When Leadership is done well, it produces great projects, great companies, great families, great communities, and even great nations. Every group, regardless of size, needs Leadership. H. Ross Perot built EDS, an incredible IT services company, which I worked for before it was acquired by HP. EDS did not become that way without great leadership.   The foundation of Perot’s leadership is one of the simplest and most profound resources I have ever seen. He called it the “Grassroots Wisdoms”. Of course “Wisdoms” is not a word, but it is the kind of word that only H. Ross could coin and still be taken seriously.  His “Wisdoms” are so strikingly common-sense that you could almost see H. Ross using them to cut through the silliness that often pervade business and life. While I feel tempted to provide my own editorial to each of the following “Wisdoms”, I think I will refrain and allow H. Ross to speak to us directly. I especially like number 10:

1. Be upfront, blunt and candid
2. Leaders are not obligated to perpetuate foolishness
3. Leaders are in charge
4. Leaders must choose which problem to live with
5. Run the company so the best people love it
6. Sit in the grandstand
7. Run it like it’s your company
8. Take out your checkbook
9. No second chance to make a first impression
10. Bad news does not improve with age
11. Get all the liars in the same room
12. If your people are not doing what you want, it’s your fault  
    

“ Bad news doesn’t get better with age. —H. ROSS PEROT

H. Ross Perot was a pioneer in the IT field who was known for his deep pragmatism, thoroughness in thinking, and frankly his ability to influence virtually anyone through straight, practical, and unambiguous talk. So many people make themselves out to be something they are not, but not Perot. He was authentic through and through, and his “Grassroots Wisdoms” served as the practical philosophy that allowed him to build a multi-billion dollar empire. “The Grassroots Wisdoms” served him,  and now he lives on in the wisdom he leaves to us.  

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• There are times when oceans have high tides and low tides
• There are times when we are awake, and a third of our life when we are asleep
• There is a time for plants to grow, and a time when they go dormant
• There’s a time to use our skills, and a time when we need to rest them
• There is a time to act, but there is also a time to think
• There is a time to work and a time to unplug

• Life can’t be all high-tide otherwise it will drown people and property
• We can’t be on all the time, otherwise, we eventually collapse
• Plants can’t constantly be growing, because our planet would be completely overrun with vegetation (on second thought, that would be beautiful)
• We can’t be learning all the time, without time to apply it practically – otherwise, it is vain, useless knowledge
• Life can’t be all weekdays, because we need to appreciate the weekends

“ The nature of life is cyclical. —MARK BOTROS

1. Do some more meditation
2. Do some extra exercise (EG, go for a walk, run, bike ride, hike)
3. Cleanup/Declutter/organize
4. Connect with someone
5. Think and plan ahead
6. Go home early
7. Do a random kind act for someone
8. Do you something you love but don’t do enough of
9. Take a nap or sleep
10. Go on an impromptu adventure

“ Just like a lightbulb, if we don’t ‘turn off’ we burn out. —MARK BOTROS

Starting a new position is a tender time for both employers and employees. Each of them is figuring out whether this is truly going to be a good fit or not. In order to give the boss (or client) absolute confirmation that you were a good hire, doing the following will help you to win over everyone that you’re about to work with and for in the short term, but to set the stage for your reputation in the long term.

“ Your first few days (even your first few hours) in a new position will set the stage for your reputation going forward. —MARK BOTROS

Show up early. A high ranking military officer once told me his philosophy on timeliness, “if you’re early you’re on time, if you’re on time you’re late, if you’re late don’t even bother.” I don’t think he literally meant not to show up, but rather that people who show up late (without good reason) tend to look a little foolish or out of control.

Look sharp and be sharp. This was a phrase from Jeffrey Fox’s book “How to be CEO”. Never underestimate appearances. Looking sharp helps you to at least appear competent for the role. The perception of competence is half the battle. Being sharp is everything though because it makes the outward perception true, which is the most powerful perception of all.

Take initiative. Jump right in, and ask how you can help, get your hands as dirty as quickly as possible to produce tangible results on a current project or initiative.

Get context. Read organizational reading materials, take an orientation class if it is offered (or mandated). You can get critical context through some of the following sources:

• A website
• The organization chart(s)
• An annual report
• The organization’s newsletter
• The schedule for key meetings and other annual events
• Key working groups, boards, committees, or communities of interest that are relevant to your position

Talk to people. Sit down with senior people who know the organization well. Conversations with these people will help you to find out:

• What the culture is really like (i.e. What are the acceptable and unacceptable social and professional norms of the organization)
• What the organization expects of someone in your position
• The core work hours, and general attitudes for flexible work and good times of the year to take vacation

“ In a new position, observe everything you can and ask a minimum of 5 questions every day for your first few weeks. —MARK BOTROS

Create a self-teaching plan. If you’re new to the industry, company, client, job, or function create your own learning plan with objectives of things you think you should know in the new position.

Take notes – lots of notes. Taking diligent notes – whether you need to or not – almost always reflects well on yourself, because shows you’re listening, invested, paying attention, and that you care about what’s going on.

Communicate progress early and often. First, ask your boss how s/he likes to receive updates, and at what level of detail. Communicate what you are doing and your progress regularly. Start with a brief daily check-in with your boss for the first week or so, then go to 1x a week after that. Your organization may have different communication standards, where you may need to communicate progress as much as hourly or as little as once a month.

Produce something quickly. Getting a quick win or something produced quickly helps create massive goodwill for you. Remember, your boss wants to see you succeed, they are rooting for you, because if you don’t work out – it reflects badly on them and makes their job harder.

SPECIAL NOTE TO LEADERS: Have a 100-day plan to observe, talk with people in your organization, and begin thinking about how you can make the organization better. Initially, you will need to balance observation with active learning and participation in the organization you lead. My advice would be to [again] go for some “low hanging fruit” i.e. easy, quick accomplishments that win you goodwill from your superiors, peers, and your employees.

Bad New Employee

Many years ago, I worked with a company that hired George, a senior level consultant with a Ph.D. who wowed everyone in the interviews and immediately got hired. On his first-day orientation, where the CEO was actually present, he was arrogant, pompous, and long-winded everytime he spoke. On his second day, he was sent to a customer for a consulting engagement. Over the next couple of weeks it was clear, that despite his education and great overconfidence, the other consultants, and the customer could see that he did not live up to his resume. Instead of jumping right in, he waited to be told several times before responding to an assignment. He didn’t take any notes, he didn’t ask any questions, he didn’t initiate or offer help to anyone, he produced very little, and what he produced was far less than what might be expected from someone with a Ph.D. When he was asked to produce anything he’d hem, haw, stall, and after repeated reminders (by the customer no less) he would finally produce something of poor quality that needed another consultant to “clean it up” before it could be submitted to the customer. The worst part was despite getting coaching from other consultants and his boss that was intended to help him, he didn’t have the self-awareness to see how he was failing. And he didn’t have the humility to change his behavior. So it was no surprise that in his first presentation a month into his employment, he bombed and bombed badly. He was later removed from that customer engagement and eventually let go from the company. As a new employee, George had many opportunities to do right by his company and his customer, but he failed at every turn, due largely to his own self-opinion and arrogance, and was eventually let go for it.

After serving 300 client organizations, I’ve learned a thing or two about quick-successful-transitions that I’ve experienced personally and observed in others. So the advice above is personally tried and true. If you are already in or going to a new position, remember to aggressively jump in, ask questions, take notes, learn, get “dirty”, and produce something as quickly as you can. Do this and your new boss (or client) will say, “you were a great hire, we’re so glad you’re with us.” And ultimately if your client tells you that, you did it right.

“ The best way to prove yourself in a new role is to jump right in. —MARK BOTROS

For many of us though, taking a true vacation can be a challenge. Often the weight of job or business responsibilities doesn’t allow us to easily get away. Sometimes a vacation itself represents additional work in terms of budgeting, planning, booking, packing, and food prep. And when we’re on vacation sometimes it’s difficult to let go of what’s happening back at the office or worse yet, we are so busy that we bring work (or some other work-like thing) with us while on vacation, which completely defeats the purpose of what a vacation should do for us. That said, taking a vacation is more than just a good way use up company leave, it is a critical component of recreating and restoring our minds, body, and souls.

In another post, “3 Reasons Why We Absolutely Must Take Vacation” I talk about why it’s critical to take vacations. It doesn’t just serve as a personal reset mechanism, but there is a statistical correlation between those who take vacations and their likelihood of receiving pay increases and/or bonuses.

“ There is a statistical correlation between those who take vacations and their likelihood of receiving pay increases and/or bonuses. —U.S. TRAVEL ASSOCIATION / HARVARD BUSINESS REVIEW 2016 TRAVEL STUDY

What a great vacation looks like

You know you are truly on vacation when one or more of the following conditions is true – when you are:

• Physically, mentally, and emotionally away from work or work-like responsibilities (this is a minimum requirement for a vacation)
• Completely and unquestionably present with those around you
• Engaged in some form of relaxation, fun, or adventure — or all of the above
• Making meaningful and lasting connections and memories with others
• Taking time for private reflection, recreation, or connection with yourself

What a great vacation does for us

A well-lived vacation is like pressing the reset button on ourselves, you should leave it feeling fully refreshed, restored, and encouraged to face life and work again. You should also walk away from a vacation slightly better in some way. You should be a more relaxed, self-aware, emotionally intelligent, or simply more grateful. I can tell I’ve had a really good vacation when I come back home with some new intentions, resolutions, and even some decisions on what will be different. On a recent vacation, I came back with several renewed intentions including being more present for my wife and kids, to “go with the flow” a little more, to care what people think a little less, and to push some important business initiatives more aggressively. So often we can feel wrecked coming back, and we often say, “I need a vacation from my vacation.” I’ve said this many times especially those times when the vacation was packed with fun and adventure. I think this kind of “wrecked” excusable. Work hard play hard, and leave it all out on the beach.

What’s less excusable is what I talk about in my post, “7 things you absolutely cannot allow on vacation”

So go ahead, plan your next vacation. You can never book too soon. And if you do it right, you’ll be happier, your performance will be better for it, and your bank account will likely thank you as well.

Have you ever needed a vacation from your vacation?

I certainly have. I’ve gone on some amazing vacations over the years, but I’ve also gone on some vacations that have left me worse for the wear. A few years ago, I went on vacation that wasn’t restful at all. In fact, when I came back people actually said to me, “Mark, you look really tired,” which was actually their polite way of saying, “Mark, you look absolutely wrecked, and not in a good way.” There were several things present on that particular vacation that led me to a conclusion — not all vacations are refreshing. The lesson I learned was that taking a vacation can actually be worse than work unless you fiercely protect it.

“ Vacation can be worse than work unless you fiercely protect it. —“MARK

I have found that bad vacations (or the bad aspects of vacations) all have common traits that we must not allow. They are as follows:1. Poor planning — The US Travel Association recently did a study and found that a vacation planned at least one month ahead of time was a good predictor of stress reduction. Statistically speaking, poorly planned vacations actually have the reverse effect of what a vacation ought to do — to press the RESET button on yourself. 2. Work — This should be an obvious one, but I have been guilty of having my mobile number on my out-of-office message. I have found that

Poor planning — The US Travel Association recently did a study and found that a vacation planned at least one month ahead of time was a good predictor of stress reduction. Statistically speaking, poorly planned vacations actually have the reverse effect of what a vacation ought to do — to press the RESET button on yourself.

Work — This should be an obvious one, but I have been guilty of having my mobile number on my out-of-office message. I have found that generally people are respectful of your time off, unless you are a key player who is working on something critical or time sensitive. Here are some ways to handle this:

• Bake vacation into your project plans whenever possible
• Give everyone (who needs to know) a heads-up, well in advance, when you will be out of the office
• Set out-of-office messages and make sure your calendar is blocked out with your time off
• Designate a responsible person to be your back-up, put their name and contact information on your out-of-office message, give them clear instructions, and then let them do it without checking in on them (they have to feel you trust them).

If you are spending a lot of time on YOUR vacation working, answering email, and engaged in conference calls, those you are with will not be too happy with you, and chances are you won’t come back refreshed, reset, and recharged. I will say this though, if you’ve gone on vacation, and you need to resolve something before you can unplug again, resolve it quickly, and then unplug. Otherwise, you’ll be thinking about it during your vacation, you won’t fully enjoy it, and you’ll come back frustrated that you spent hundreds or even thousands of dollars to be away, when all you did was work or think about work. I admit I do bring a laptop with me on vacation, not to work necessarily, but just in case that unavoidable emergency comes up. It’s like packing extra underwear — just in case.

Difficult people — When you vacation, you need to be around people who are going to be refreshing to you. After all, this is YOUR time away, and it may be your only time during the year to do so. One difficult person has the power to ruin a vacation if you allow them – I’ve seen it happen more than once. A difficult person is like having it rain on your vacation every day. Over the years, my wife and I have vacationed with many people — family, friends, and even strangers, so we have found what works for us in terms of finding the perfect vacation buddies. We do our own personal vetting of people. We account for dietary needs, family dynamics, child ages, behavior, and influence, the speed and hyper/hypo-activity of different people we will be with, etc. My advice, would be to vacation with people who you would enjoy “living with” for that period of time — otherwise go it alone, you may be just as happy.

“ A difficult person is like having it rain on your vacation everyday. —“MARK

Lingering Stress — On a recent vacation, my oldest daughter observed that we, her parents, spent the first 2-3 days discussing an extended family issue before we were able to fully decompress and enjoy the rest of our vacation. In the same way that work was there when we returned, so was the issue, so it wasn’t truly worth all the airtime we gave it.

Strict schedules — I love entertainment, especially when I’m away. So, on another vacation, we experimented with going to shows every single night. What this meant was that our time on the beach or on our excursions would get shortened. While we had fun, the strictness in our schedule didn’t allow us to simply be easy and relax at our pace. The lesson I learned for future trips was that we would have a plan for what we wanted to do while on vacation, but leave room for flexibility. Leaving expectations a little loose is not a bad thing on vacation.

Packed schedules — a close cousin to the strict schedule is an overly ambitious one. We did one vacation where we saw relatives in 4 different states in a week, and we came home totally wrecked. The lesson for me was to keep vacation agendas easy and reasonable, and not to pack in too much extra activity — unless you are in a new place, and the plan is to do and see as much as possible.

Negativity, ingratitude — a vacation, especially one that is sponsored by paid time off, is something to be truly grateful for when you consider work conditions just 100 years ago where a paid vacation was completely unheard of for the average worker. For as much as you’re paying to go away, for the fact that this is one of your few opportunities to be away, for the sake of your sanity, happiness, peace of mind and well being, on vacation, there should be a zero tolerance policy for negativity, ingratitude, and complaining. Instead of correcting yourself and others, use the time more effectively by actively focusing on the “good things of the day”. Make it a game, go around and ask people what they enjoyed most, and offer a prize for the most creative or different “good thing”.

“ On vacation, there should be a zero tolerance policy for negativity, ingratitude, and complaining. —“MARK

Did you know, data shows that people who take more than 10 paid vacation days have a 65% chance of receiving a raise or bonus?

Vacations are a key habit of the high-performers. A recent study performed by the U.S. Travel Association showed statistically that vacations are not just a good idea, but rather a critical practice that benefits our health, well-being, and financial success. Many of us have paid time off offered to us by our employers, yet many people think that if they martyr themselves for their jobs that they will be more successful. Nothing could be more false.

What follows are three findings from the study that show compelling reasons why we absolutely must take vacations.

It’s awesome for our well-being. Taking a vacation presses the reset button on ourselves. The study showed, taking more vacation results in greater success at work, lower stress levels, and more happiness at work and at home. If we don’t vacation “we’re losing out on crucial recovery time that our bodies and brains need — which is why vacations are so very important.” It gives us something to look forward to, and to work toward. Knowing you’ll be away drives you to get your work done more quickly so that you can relax while you’re away. One caveat to this is that a vacation needs to be well-planned. Statistically, a poorly-planned, tense, pressured, frustrating vacation does not improve energy levels or reduce stress, in fact, they completely eliminate the benefits of time away. However, the opposite is also true, if you are far from work, present, connecting with family and friends, and taking time to have fun, relax, or reflect, those vacations have the intended return on investment (ROI) in terms of being refreshed when you return home and to work. Statistically, it was found that if the vacation was planned at least one month ahead, that was a fair predictor that you would have a successful vacation.

“ Well planned vacations typically have a good ROI in terms of health, well-being, and reduced stress levels. —US TRAVEL ASSOCIATION

We are “volunteering our time” if we don’t. The US Travel Association study also found that most people (95% in fact) say that using their paid time off was very important. A Harvard Business Review article in 2016 referenced the US Travel Association report saying, “more than half of Americans (55%) left vacation days unused, which equates to 658 million unused vacation days.Imagine the impact those vacations could have on the U.S. economy — on airlines, hotels, restaurants, attractions, and towns — not to mention the impact it would have on individuals’ stress levels. Would you do your job for free? And do you take all your vacation days? If you say no to the first, you had better say yes to the second. In truth, if you are not taking all your time off, you’re not working more — you’re volunteering your time…By giving up this time off, Americans are effectively volunteering hundreds of millions of days of free work for their employers, which results in $61.4 billion in forfeited benefits.” Imagine the impact those vacations could have on the U.S. economy — on airlines, hotels, restaurants, attractions, and towns — not to mention the impact it would have on individuals’ stress levels. Would you do your job for free? And do you take all your vacation days? If you say no to the first, you had better say yes to the second. In truth, if you are not taking all your time off, you’re not working more — you’re volunteering your time…By giving up this time off, Americans are effectively volunteering hundreds of millions of days of free work for their employers, which results in $61.4 billion in forfeited benefits.

“ If you are not taking all your time off, you’re not working more — you’re volunteering your time. —HARVARD BUSINESS REVIEW

You’re more likely to get a raise or bonus. Finally, the most compelling reason for vacation, is this, “People who took fewer than 10 of their vacation days per year had a 34.6% likelihood of receiving a raise or bonus in a three-year period of time. People who took more than 10 of their vacation days had a 65.4% chance of receiving a raise or bonus. If you take 11 or more of your vacation days, you are more than 30% more likely to receive a raise.”

If you weren’t a believer before, then hopefully you are now, and hopefully, you are planning your next trip – your bonus or raise may depend on it.

The moment you get asked to do something, when you get a request, or are asked to simply solve a problem –  in that moment you have a choice to make. You can say “yes”, “no” or “later”.

However, if “the ask” comes from someone critical like a key customer, a boss you respect, or a major stakeholder on your project, can you really say “no” then? I would make an argument, that depending on the ask, that sometimes there is a danger in saying “no” outright – in saying “no” you cut off several possibilities:

The Possibility of Insight – Personal and organizational knowledge grows with every request you fulfill and every problem you solve. Sometimes when you go through the process of fulfilling a request you learn things along the way, especially if it’s not a routine task. Sometimes you gain critical insights and gather intelligence as you go through the process of fulfilling the request, answering the question, or dissecting a problem. Saying “no” cuts off the possibility of any new insight, knowledge, or intelligence you might gain.

The Possibility of Solutions – People and organizations grow in learning and capability as they encounter new problems to solve and new gaps to fill. Saying “no” cuts off the possibility of gaining new skill, capability, and competency. It may even cut off the possibility of expanding into uncharted customer needs and markets.

The Possibility of Opportunity – The perception of your work is as important if not more important than the actual work itself. In the long run, visibility leads to perception, which leads to reputation, which leads to opportunity – if you have done things right. Even if you fail, get back up, and succeed again, people will remember you and keep you in mind for future opportunities when they come up. In saying “no”, you might simply miss out. If you say “no” someone else might say yes. Saying “no” creates opportunities for competing organizations and your competitive peers.

The Possibility of Innovation – Innovation, whether small or great, allows individuals and organizations to remain viable, competitive, and relevant. In saying “no” we put a stop to what is possible, we place limits on where a person or and organization can expand, and we slow creativity, growth, and development which is so critical today.

“ If you say ‘no’ someone else might say ‘yes’. —MARK BOTROS

Why I Might be Wrong About This

Now there are perfectly valid counter-arguments to what I’ve just said, all of which I agree with and live out in my own life.

Saying “no” allows you to focus – People and organizations sometimes are more successful when they say “no” and focus on a just a few things. A good example of this is if you compare Apple with competitors like Google, Dell, and IBM. Apple intentionally decided to have as few SKUs as possible, and they have been extraordinarily successful in that decision.

Saying “no” allows you to balance – Another counter-argument is the need for balance. A person must say “no” in order to sift lower priority actions, better sequence their time, and maintain balance.

Saying “no” allows you to choose better – Productivity guru, Michael Hyatt says, “when you say “no”, you say “yes” to something better.” In other words, saying “no” creates opportunities to pursue higher priority and more important items. Saying “no” also allows you to do deal with interruptions and other people’s procrastination and urgency masking as importance.

Solution

If you receive a request or a problem to solve, and you are tempted to say “no” :

• Say “how” Instead – Look for ways that you can say “how” as opposed to “no”. Saying “how” at least keeps possibilities open.
• Get More Intelligence – Ask more questions to gain clarity on the ask before saying “yes”, “no”, or “how”, it might be that the request or problem is not as thorny as you originally thought. Conversely, it might be much more involved and may require greater conversation and assessment. Asking more questions will help you determine the next action to take.
• Establish parameters for your “how” or “yes” – If the request or problem requires more conversation or assessment, establish parameters for the “how” (e.g. do an exploratory / brainstorming session to see what is possible), or establish a criteria for determining “yes” (e.g. some criteria may include: where the request came from, the time or money it would take to resolve, or where it would fit into overall priorities).
• Be upfront – If it is a “yes” be ruthlessly candid and clear about expectations, timelines, and deliverables.
• Get guidance – if you have a boss, they are there to help you prioritize. That is their job. However if you are the boss, then you may have to seek guidance from partners, customers, subordinates, or your true boss – your mission, values and goals – to help you determine how you prioritize and what you say “no” to.
• Delay – Not all requests and solutions are needed right now. If it is possible, intentionally delay work on the request until it is needed or more appropriately timed.

The key to all of this is having a sense of balance about what your priorities are. Everything does not have equal priority, urgency, or importance. The danger in saying “no” outright is that it immediately cuts off possibility for insight, solutions, visibility, and innovation. Saying “how” instead of “no” at least keeps possibilities open, but ultimately your time, your boss, your values, your goals, and your customers will be the driving forces for what you say “yes”, “no”, or “how” to.

I recently had an epiphany that fundamentally changed the way I see the concept of Time forever. What I came to discover is that Time is an experience that we are unable to control or manage. Time unforgivably passes regardless of our perceived ability (or more accurately, our inability) to manage it. The myth (propagated by an outdated industrial-age notion) is that we have any control or power to manage Time whatsoever. To say we “manage Time” is actually a statement of illusion. What we manage (or don’t manage) is ourselves.

Time simply is, and Time simply passes. It is not ours to control or manage. We simply exist within it. We cannot add to Time, nor can we take away from Time. We can certainly make the experience of Time go faster or slower by either our enjoyment or lack thereof in the present moment, but we have no control or influence over Time. We simply decide how we are going to spend the time we are allocated every day. That said, I do think it’s acceptable to label our passage of time as “my time”, “your time” or “our time” because these possessive pronouns allow us to take ownership of the time we have and our experience within it.

So how do we do ensure that we are making the most of our time? By asking one simple question:

“What is the greatest and highest use of my time in this moment?”

This is the key question that we need to ask constantly as it relates to Time. This question is an amazing filter for those low-value or no-value activities, as well as a motivation to put more high-value activities on our calendars and at the forefront of our mind. Living in an age of endless notifications it’s all too easy to get swept up in low-value activities (activities that do not bring us closer to our goals, our dreams, our optimal life, or our optimal selves), and what ends up happening is that we think, “I don’t have enough time.” If I am asking this question, then I can’t be trusted with additional time, because even if I get the time, I will always want or need more. The people we admire most all have the same amount of time as we do, they just make different and better use of it. They do the things that matter most and add to their life.

For me in this moment, the highest and greatest use of my time is writing and sharing this insight with you, because in so doing, I’m processing it myself, and in sharing it with you, it reinforces the concept in my mind.

So back to the question above, if we apply this question properly, consistently, and with some level of discipline, it clears the path for us (and gives us emotional permission) to engage in those things that matter most to us like:

• Being present for our significant other
• Being present for our family
• Engaging with a customer
• Engaging with a team member
• Connecting with a business partner
• Personal reflection, thinking, and strategy
• Quiet time and meditation
• Journaling
• Actions that directly produce income
• Actions that save us time down the road (eliminating, automating, or delegating actions)
• Product development
• Improving, developing, or expanding your business
• Improving your living space to create an environment of greater peace, beauty, and sanctuary
• Developing a healthy lifestyle with exercise and good food
• Going outdoors
• Travel and adventure
• Social or political engagement to make our part of the world better
• Helping others
• Listening to someone
• Catching up with a family member or friend

What about low-value items? I believe if you are reading this, you are intelligent enough to know what those are. I think we all intuitively know what they are. That said, in my humble opinion, the way I would personally determine low-value activities is by asking the same question above, and determining if the action ADDS TO or TAKES AWAY from my life. Does {fill in the blank} get me closer to what I want (for myself, my life, my family, my career, my business, my community, and my world?” If it doesn’t, then it’s a low-value activity.

What about urgent items? Go back to the question, “What is the greatest and highest use of my time in this moment?” if you have an urgent deadline or screaming child, or a kitchen fire, addressing those are the greatest and highest use of your time in that moment.  If you don’t meet your urgent deadline, then that could impact your livelihood and income; if you don’t meet the needs of the screaming child, it could damage the child, and will certainly fry your nerves; if you don’t take care of the kitchen fire, your house could burn down. If an item is urgent and important to you, then it is the greatest and highest use of your time in that moment.  The key is to proactively manage the urgent so that you’re not constantly living in that mode.

I should caveat by saying that there are low-value activities that are necessary, like paying bills, running to the post office, having your car serviced (which is what I’m doing right at this moment), food shopping, etc. There are low-value activities that are critical to living the kind of life we want to live, and we simply need to do them, but they should be automated (in the case of paying bills), delegated (to someone else or to a time of your choosing), or eliminated (instead of going to the post office yourself, arrange for a pick up instead). There are innumerable technology and services available, that if you look, you will find smarter systems to handle virtually anything in life.

“ To make the most of your time, ask yourself, “What is the greatest and highest use of my time in this moment?” —MARK BOTROS

If you were to survey anyone about their least favorite aspects of work, one of the top items would likely be meetings.

One Harvard Business Review study showed that one organization’s weekly executive meeting had a ripple effect that consumed over 300,000 hours of its employee’s time. As a work-society we spend a lot of time in meetings.

Good meetings can be productive, energizing, and even bonding, where bad meetings can be spectacular time-toilets. Meetings these days take on many forms: In-person, conference call, video teleconference, and text-based instant messaging or chat.

The purpose of this post is not to highlight how to make a great meeting happen (we’ll do that in another post), but rather to convince you to show up in person (or on video) wherever possible.

If your meeting offers multiple modes of participation (i.e. in-person, a conference line, video conferencing, or chat), for the sake of convenience it is tempting to just “call in” and listen. The advantage of this is that it allows the listener to multitask while the meeting is going on.

However, I would make a case that showing up in person (to include video conferencing) is actually the best way to attend a meeting. Why? Here are 10 reasons:

1. You can fully interpret the message when you can see facial expression and body language.
2. You can get questions answered in real time (you can do this in any mode of communication, but it’s less awkward in-person).
3. When you show your face, it’s less likely that people will talk negatively about you.
4. You can’t multi-task and get away with it.
5. It allows you to be fully present for others to engage you.
6. It increases your credibility. Being on the phone, you may as well not be in the meeting at all, unless you are highly engaged in the conversation.
7. You pick up context, other conversations, and side chatter, that you can’t always hear on the phone.
8. It’s easier to connect personally, it also allows others to see you in action, especially if you make key contributions to the discussion.
9. Things said in person have the perception of being more valuable and trustworthy than those things said on the phone or by some other virtual means.
10. You can be attend the pre-meeting and the post-meeting, which are the informal bookends of meetings where “real” decisions, discussions, and connections happen.

“ ‘Showing up in person increases your credibility.’ —MARK BOTROS

I worked in an organization where we had team members all over the country. While no one would admit it openly, those “in the room” had greater power and influence than those “on the phone”. Those who attended virtually had to work very hard to overcome the distance. In fact, some of those players would fly in every few weeks or so, just to show their faces – to let everyone know that they were a real human being and not just another disembodied voice.

Don’t get me wrong. I love virtual meetings. The virtue of virtual meetings is that they save money, reduce travel time and cost, and they can also be very targeted and even more productive if you have all the right doers at same time. In an age where organizations are looking to optimize costs, travel is one of the first things to go, so virtual meetings become the only way to meet. With collaboration technology being as freely available as it is, no organization is excused from connecting adequately.

That said, if you are dealing with folks from previous generations, they tend to value face time. Current generations don’t need face time quite as much. So let me offer this simple advice: If you need to communicate, collaborate, or meet, do it in this order: In-person, video-conferencing, phone (conference call), chat/instant message/texting, email.

Have you ever felt stuck mentally, emotionally, even spiritually?

If we are self-aware and honest, we can identify with that the feeling. Oftentimes when we feel stuck, it’s difficult to put into words. We feel that something is not quite right, but it’s difficult to identify. Sometimes, feeling stuck comes in the form of writer’s block, or feeling like you have no new ideas or solutions, or feeling a sense of mild frustration – where you have a goal, but feel unable to meet it. Or perhaps you have slowed down, lost momentum, and feel the inability to make progress. It may be the feeling that you are in a rut, and that you know you need to change but feel unable to do so. Feeling stuck also feels like you have gone as far as you can go, and you don’t feel you can go any further.

One thing that should hopefully provide some comfort is knowing that this is a normal part of the creative/development process.

So how do we get out of feeling stuck? First, we need to acknowledge that feeling stuck is a “feeling”. Feelings come and go, but we need to appreciate the feeling anyway, because it signals that it may be time to stop, think, and evaluate where we are. It may be that feeling stuck is a signal for us to look at the problem from another angle, or that there may be something wrong with our current solution. So feeling stuck is something we should appreciate rather than frustrate over. And we should know that “feeling” stuck and “being” stuck are two entirely different issues, but in both cases the solutions are similar.

So how do we restart the engine of creativity and development once it has seized? Here are some thoughts:

1. Walk away from it and come back to it later – You’re not doing yourself any good by staring at the screen or a blank sheet of paper. You may even need to sleep on it.
2. Identify what it is you feel stuck about or why you feel stuck – Acknowledge and appreciate it. It’s ok.
3. Try micro-sessions – Try some timed (e.g. 2, 5, 10, 20, 50-minute) startups, work for a certain amount of time, and then stop. Try it again a little bit later. The good in this is that you are pushing momentum little by little. You never know if one of these micro sessions will spark the creativity you need to move forward.
4. Change your environment – Set up a creative, motivating atmosphere, with new visuals, different lighting, candles, or even music. You can try a different working space altogether.
5. Try putting leverage on yourself – think of 5-10 good outcomes that will come from you completing this.
6. Reward yourself – Set yourself a motivating deadline (e.g. if I get this done, I can go for coffee, go for a walk, or leave early)
7. Talk it through with someone – bounce an idea (e.g. hey do you think this might work?)
8. Pray – ask for insight and guidance, you’ll be surprised how often you get answers
9. Respect your Muse – Sometimes our Muse gives us a flash of insight when we’re not expecting it, and we have what we need to act. Capitalize on that moment and act on the inspiration right away if you can, otherwise use a notetaker or voice recorder to capture the thought immediately so it doesn’t get lost. Return to your work and incorporate your new idea at a time that works for you.
10. Break it up – Sometimes we get stuck not because we don’t know what to do, but because we are overwhelmed by the task. Break the task into smaller component pieces and put a very doable schedule in place to get it done.
11. Brute-force it – Sometimes as a last resort, because there may a deadline looming, you just have to suck it up, do it, deny yourself, blast through the laziness, procrastination, and the pain of the moment with sheer will power.

Ultimately, your goal is to move the needle to create a hint of momentum around the task or project. Momentum will take care of the rest. Then you should have no problem finishing.

“ Move the needle toward momentum, and then let momentum take over. —MARK BOTROS

One time, I was in a meeting with six consultants, and our customer asked us to consider an honest but compelling question:

“How do we prioritize our projects when we don’t have (or follow) a strategic plan?”

We were providing some rather unique consulting services that were in high-demand at an enterprise level. So it became vital to determine how to filter all of our incoming projects.

However, what came out of it was a discussion so rich, so layered, and so nuanced that I had to capture it, add to it for completeness, and share it with you. The really interesting thing was that no one consultant had the same method for prioritizing or the same focus.

You may be familiar with the Eisenhower method of prioritization. It was made famous by Stephen Covey, but it was Eisenhower who reportedly used it to determine his own priorities throughout his career. The following matrix is an example of the Eisenhower method of prioritization:

A basic “Eisenhower box” to help evaluate urgency and importance. Items may be placed at more precise points within each quadrant. The time management matrix above as described in Merrill and Covey’s 1994 book “First Things First,” showing “quadrant two” items that are important but not urgent and so require greater attention for effective time management.

And while it’s seems a little easier to determine priority based on urgency and importance for yourself (which is what Eisenhower’s model is ideally suited for), how do you determine the varying degrees of importance at an enterprise level?

In our meeting, which had three doctorate-level professionals, we discovered there are numerous ways to define “important” in terms of prioritizing.

If you are prioritizing for yourself, you would define priorities based on your values, those things you hold most dear. For example, they could be:

• Family
• Friends
• Relationships
• Healthy
• Vitality
• Impact
• Learning
• Peace of Mind
• Adventure
• Variety
• Excitement
• Abundance
• Wealth
• Spirituality

Values become the filter and the basis by which you do everything personally. Values also become the foundation of your goals. Your values and goals should determine what decisions you make and what actions you take – or how you prioritize.

Likewise organizations should have a set of core values, goals, and a strategic plan that drives their collective decisions and actions.

But what happens if you don’t have any defined core values, goals, or a strategic plan – or at least follow the ones you have? It seems ridiculous that an organization that employees hundreds or even thousands of people wouldn’t have a workable strategic plan. However, in my observation as a consultant to over 300 organizations, this is more more common than you might think. Why? Because many organizations make strategic plans, but allow operational priorities or others distractions (like a merger, acquisition, or Wall Street demands) to overlook or postpone those great plans.

Below, I offer multiple options for prioritization, some you might never use, but some might actually be intriguing.

1. Go with your gut – Based on what you / your team / your leadership knows of the environment, you make up the prioritization as you go.
2. Highest mission impact – what actions or projects will allow you to do the most for your mission?
3. Greatest good – what actions or projects will allow you to have the greatest impact on the most people?
4. Cost, Budget, and Funding – What can the organization afford to do? Do we follow the money and work on those projects that are actually funded? What about those that are not?
5. Available resources – What resources does the organization have available? Are there limitations on resources and what they can handle? how much can our resources reasonably take on and be successful?
6. Urgency – Is there a time-based need to pursue this project or action?
7. Greatest value to the organization – When I worked in business development, we prioritized those opportunities that had both the highest economic value, the highest win probability, and the lowest risk
8. Project visibility – Do we look good from a perception perspective if we pursue this action or project?
9. Political factors – Which actions or projects are politically popular versus unpopular?
10. Customer Type – Do we prioritize according to customers types? Do we serve internal customers first or external customers first?
11. Likelihood of Success – In business development, this was our win probability. However success could be project completion, lower risk, higher margin, or simply the ability to deliver on your promises.
12. What Senior Management wants – In the reality model (as I like to call it) there is prioritization according to what senior management wants, and they ultimately exercise the right to trump all others.
13. Organizational Function – Does this work fall within the scope of the organization or the project team?
14. What do the people want – There’s also a prioritization according to what is best for the people, that is taking on those projects that are the most intriguing, exciting, and skill building for the people involved. There needs to be alignment between what customers want and what the team does.
15. The Squeaky Wheel – This is when you make someone a priority simply because they are relentless and persistent in getting what they want (I know this, because I am often the squeaky wheel).
16. Environmental factors – What is happening in the broader economic, political, technological, social, generational, and broader global environment? Does our project have an impact or is it impacted by any of those things?
17. Competitive environment – Do we need to pursue an innovation project to be ahead of our competition?

Truth is, there are so many ways to prioritize projects. In a room of six consultants, we came up with six completely different thought processes and approaches. It was a psychologist’s dream – and one of us happened to be a Ph.D psychologist. By the way, what ended up happening in the end was that our consultant team put together an elegant project decision matrix complete with beautiful criteria, weighting, and scoring. The Director of the organization, a strong [willed] leader in his own right, appreciated and utilized the matrix as a data-driven means of justifying certain decisions, but often made the ultimate decision on certain priorities based on a combination of gut-level instinct, political visibility, environmental factors, mission impact, and available funding.

“ Your values and goals drive what decisions you make and what actions you take. —MARK BOTROS

Here’s a very common scenario: You are at a meeting or training class, and you don’t know anyone. The person leading the meeting suggests that the group go around and introduce themselves. This is your first impression moment, and you have 20-30 seconds – if that. What you say next will determine whether you are someone of quality and value or someone others will choose to forget.

What you need is an “elevator speech”.

An elevator speech is a personal commercial that is a short summary that’s all about you. It lasts no longer than a short elevator ride – hence the name. It’s interesting, memorable, and explains what makes you unique and valuable. And they can be tailored for different audiences and different settings.

At today’s speed of business, and with communications trending towards shorter, 140 character sound bytes, it becomes critical for us to be able to tell our story efficiently and effectively. The role of the elevator speech is actually vital not only for good first impressions and personal presentation, but it could be your key to potential advancement.

The idea behind having a elevator speech ready is that you are prepared to share key information with anyone (especially senior managers) at any time, in the time it takes an elevator to move between floors.

Sophisticated professionals are keenly aware that first impressions are made in a matter of seconds and from moment to moment they have to be at their best. Whether they are intentionally doing so or not, these top performers, who are usually on their game, have a pre-thought, pre-rehearsed, elevator speech handy and ready to give at a moment’s notice.

The kind of information you would include in your elevator speech is as follows:

• Who are you? (Name)
• Where are you from? (States or elsewhere)?
• What is your educational background (studies, school name)?
• What part of the organization are you supporting? (Your division or department)
• What projects or programs are you currently supporting? (Especially any high visibility projects, but only if they are going well)
• One or two unique/interesting facts about you.
• What is something big that you are accomplishing right now?
• Special skills that you bring to the organization
• Why did you pick this line of work?
• What level experience do you have in your line of work? (Past employment, service time, etc.)

Here are some situations where having a elevator speech will be handy:

• Meeting new people in any situation (a company meeting, a networking event, or even a wedding or large personal gathering)
• Anytime you meet with a senior manager (bumping into them in the hall, on an elevator, at a meeting, or as part of your regular one on one with them).
• Anytime someone asks you what you do for a living
• Anytime someone asks you to give an overview of your career (in an interview)
• Anytime someone asks you to give a status on what you’re working on
• Before you give a presentation (if you or your background have not already been introduced)

Effective elevator speeches take practice, and they shift depending on your audience and setting. Depending on your setting, you can close your elevator speech with a:

• Question to the other person
• Your next action or milestone
• A call to action
• An invitation for follow-up

I would say there are three types of elevator speeches:

• The 1-Line Tweet – A single, memorable one-line statement about what makes you unique. An example of this might be, “Hi, I’m Butch. I’m a former Navy Seal turned Florist.”
• The 10-Second Spot – A short story about yourself that can be told in about 10 seconds. Using the same example, “Hi, I’m Butch. I’m a former Navy Seal turned Florist. Instead of killing people and destroying things, after the Seals, I decided to make people happy and grow things instead.”
• The 30-Second Ad – A deeper dive that describes you in more detail. Again using Butch, “Hello, My name is Charles, but my friends call me “Butch”. I was in the Navy Seals for 7 years. After I left the Seals, I felt the need to do something that would continue to make a difference, but one that didn’t involve killing people or destroying things. So I became a Florist. I actually manage a shop in Springfield. The next time you are in the area, feel free to stop by, we’ll take good care of whatever you want. Here is my business card.”

Because our lives are dynamic, it’s okay if your elevator speech changes. As you address different people in different situations. It will certainly change as your career evolves over time.

Your elevator speech is all about you, so take the time to develop and practice it. And have fun with it.

“ Sophisticated professionals are keenly aware that first impressions are made in seconds. —MARK BOTROS

Most organizations regardless of industry, size, or uniqueness, experiences times of great expansion and times of reduction.

No one is immune, not even the federal government, which is known for its ability to expand in spite of whatever is happening in the economy. And if you believe juggernauts like Apple, Amazon, and Google could never experience times of reduction – think again. All these companies have already experienced times of reduction in the past and, eventually, they will again (if they fail to innovate). Even the most successful companies have to keep up their stock performance, and layoffs are an unfortunate part of that formula when a company hits a growth plateau or declines.

I’ve worked for and consulted with numerous great organizations that have experienced both times of growth and decline. But the way I survived those times of decline was to make myself as valuable as possible to the organization. I wanted to make it absolutely impossible for my bosses to let me go, and this is how I did it:

1. I looked forward to my next impact instead of resting on my laurels.
2. I assumed the best possible outcome, got into the fray, and stayed visible to management, instead of assuming the worst, running to the fringes, and hope that the “Death Angel of Layoffs” would pass over me.
3. I led and got involved in the most important projects, instead of settling for the easy ones.
4. I took on broader responsibilities whenever I was asked to do so, instead of staying comfortable in my then-current role.
5. I over-delivered on what I said I would do, instead of doing just the minimum to get by.
6. I continued to innovate, instead of believing that we were beyond innovation.
7. I kept learning, growing, and pushing my skills and abilities further. I even got certified in my field.
8. I kept my head up and my smile on, instead of assuming the emotion and body language of someone who has given up and is about to be layed off.
9. I was willing to jump in, help, and simply be valuable, instead of holding back, going to the bench, or heading for the sidelines which would have guaranteed that I would get layed off.
10. I said “how”, instead of saying “no”. “No” was simply not in my vocabulary. “How” opened up vast possibilities.
11. I stayed close to my network when times were good, so when times changed, reaching out to them was a natural continuation of our relationship. They weren’t just people I called when I needed something.
12. I polished up my resume and cultivated other opportunities before anything could happen to me, instead of simply expecting something to happen.
13. I reduced my lifestyle, and set aside more savings, instead of not having enough to live should a layoff happen.

Layoffs are a change that you can’t always predict, and they can happen for any one of a number of reasons. It may be the company has to make its numbers to please Wall Street, that jobs went overseas, that the company was purchased or merged with another company, or it may be that the economic environment has seized (as in 2008). The best we can do is to prepare adequately for them. To be honest, I feel I’ve been very lucky. But I also believe I had some hand in creating that luck by intentionally doing the things I did above.

If you are in a situation like the one I just described, and you think your job might go away, it may not be too late to prepare and possibly change that outcome.

“ Layoffs are a change we can’t predict, but we have the power to change our luck for the better if we prepare well. —MARK BOTROS

In a previous post, Why we Need a Holiday From Our Screens, I talk about what we gain when we consciously turn our screens off, including a number of alternatives to spending time on our screens. But what happens when the unthinkable happens – when our mobile device has no service or battery life, and we have no choice but to switch it off? What do we do then? What follows are some alternatives to consider.

Sit and think – If you stop and think without the assistance or stimulation of an electronic device, you will see that your mind is actually a very busy place. You would be amazed at the things that consciously run through your mind when you have nothing to distract it. This is a great time for day-dreaming, envisioning different aspects of your future, planning or reflecting on the day’s events, or contemplating ourselves, our existence, character, and our life.

Meditate and breathe – Meditation has numerous benefits, not just stress reduction, but it reaches down to the cellular and DNA levels. In another post, My Personal Meditation, I share what I do personally for my own meditation, and I share a link to a Deepak Chopra video listing the many benefits of meditation. My meditation is usually about 7-8 minutes per day. There’s no wrong way to meditate, so if you’re ever stuck without a device, meditation would be a really good option.

Reflect on good things – My wife and I developed this as a regular practice to change our focus from the negative circumstances in our life to the innumerable positives in our life. We also use it with our kids, to help them focus on the positives in their lives. The technique is simple, we ask, “What are 10 good things about (fill in the blank)?” or we often say “10 good things”, which is our code for shifting our focus to something positive – but we always take a moment to list 10 good things. You would be amazed how this simple technique can transform how you experience your life on an ongoing basis. Honestly, it’s one of the secrets to my own sense of personal gratitude and happiness.

Take a Nap – If your device loses power or connectivity, and if you have no other priorities, it’s a perfect moment to take a nap. It doesn’t have to be a long nap – maybe 20 minutes or so. Naps can be super refreshing, they give your body some much-needed decompression, they give you a good reset, and help restore your energy.

Talk to someone – If you’re among other people, like in a waiting area, you can talk to the people around you. Despite our cultural shift to more isolated, electronic, text-based conversation, talking in-person is by far the best mode of communication and will never ever go out of style. You might be amazed how willing people are to engage, and how quickly you can get to know someone.

Talk to yourself or pray – If you’re alone, you can talk to yourself or your God. There seems to be a stigma with talking to oneself, but then again if no one is looking, who will know? Go for it. Have some good conversation and self-talk with yourself about the things going on in your life, you might be amazed how helpful, penetrating, honest, and deep this sort of “outward’ processing can be. If you are a person of faith, it’s an ideal time to connect and process with your Intelligent Designer.

Allow boredom to pass – But wait, Mark didn’t you say you were going to help me overcome boredom? Wait for it…I think the reason why we rely on our devices so much is that we actually fear boredom. Boredom in our culture today represents a catastrophic failure to fill our time with activity, to be productive at every moment, or to keep ourselves actively entertained at all times. The thing we must remember is that technology has really taken off in the way we recognize it only in the last few decades. People spent thousands of years without the kind of personal technology we have today. And guess what? They were bored too – a lot! But the thing about boredom is that it is a temporary emotion. Dr. Richard Carlson the author of “Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff” says that “once you’re beyond the feeling of boredom, the feeling that you have next is peace.” So you can conquer boredom (like the Death Angel in the Book of Exodus) by allowing it to come and simply letting it passover (pun totally intended), because eventually it will if you don’t try to fill the time with something else.

While it is tempting to curse our devices or our mobile service providers, having no battery life or no service is actually a blessing and a moment we should appreciate, because we can finally be our own captive audience, and not subject to the whims, advertising, and notifications of our habit-creating devices. It’s a moment where we can recapture our time, our minds, our souls, and ourselves…and overcome boredom in the process.

“ Once you’re beyond the feeling of boredom, the feeling that you have next is peace. —- DR. RICHARD CARLSON, 'DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF'

There is a direct relationship between the amount of cooperation you have in an organization and the number of resources you need. Specifically, the more cooperation you have, the less resources you need. The inverse is also true, the less cooperation you have the more resources are consumed on organizational structures, processes, systems, and governance that all exist to compensate for the lack of cooperation.

1. Leave work early
2. Take a nap
3. Have a piece of fruit
4. Listen to a favorite song or genre of music
5. Do Yoga
6. Go for a walk
7. Go for a run
8. Take a moment to text a friend or family member
9. Give a hug to your spouse or your kids
10. Watch a short but funny YouTube video
11. Have a cup of tea
12. Play a short game on your mobile device (e.g. A Word find or scramble, a crossword puzzle, a sudoku, solitaire, or even a few minutes of an action game)
13. Take a few moments to think, reflect, breathe and meditate
14. Color in a coloring book (it’s now an IN thing for adults)
15. Listen to a few minutes of an audiobook or podcast
16. Read a few pages from that novel that you’ve been enjoying so much
17. Doodle
18. Connect with a colleague that energizes you
19. Go for a drive
20. Take a few minutes to journal your thoughts
21. Intentionally “butt-dial” someone you haven’t talked to in a while
22. Surprise Skype / FaceTime someone that you enjoy talking to
23. Grab a healthy snack
24. Sing a song to yourself
25. Do a quick, casual Google search on the topic of interest
26. Do a little online window shopping
27. Watch a 20-minute movie snippet
28. Watch an episode (or season) of your favorite show

• You need to do something to earn them. If you overly reward yourself, then it diminishes the value of the reward if you did little or nothing to earn it.
• They need to be healthy, sustainable, and/or done in moderation
• They can’t conflict with other goals (e.g. Eating a Costco Chocolate Cake would not be a good reward for starting a new workout regimen)
• They must actually be satisfying to you. They need to feel like rewards.
• They are proportional to the task. One of my closest friends and Information Marketing Guru, Dave Hamilton once told me that when he took his business to a certain level that he and his partner decided to reward themselves by taking their wives out to an exclusive high-end restaurant – and splurge on all the best things on the menu.

One of my daughters is a competitive swimmer, and I was volunteering as a timer at one of her divisional swim meets. While standing in the lane getting more and more wet with every passing heat (i.e. a group of swimmers who are lining to compete for their race), I saw hundreds of kids line up to swim that day. There were two children in particular, both about the same age, both came from the same socio-economic strata, both had about the same athletic level, and even had the same color hair. But there was a key difference in the two children.

Child 1: As he walked up to the starting block, this child was nervous, inward, and fidgety, and actually said aloud to himself “I’m not going to do well today, I haven’t had a good week in practice, I know I’m going to come in last.”

Child 2: As he walked up to the starting block, his body language was a lot different. He physically prepared himself, stretched out his arms and legs, bounced around a little bit as he was warming up, and he actually said aloud “I’m going to kill it today. I’m going to crush my time.”

You already know what happened. The first child came in second-to-last in his heat. The second child beat his previous time by over 16 seconds! In swimming, that kind of time reduction is huge and worth celebrating. The difference between these two children of the same age, the same athletic level, from the same socio-economic status, from the same team, was the story they told themselves. The one with the negative story manifested a negative outcome that he predicted for himself. The one with the positive story manifested an extremely positive outcome that he predicted for himself.

The neighborhood of our mind is actually a very dangerous place to be. If we are not careful, we can allow negative thoughts to manifest negative outcomes in our life. The majority of people have a negative bias. That is why it is so critical that we take an active and conscious role in cleaning up the neighborhood of our mind.

“ The neighborhood of our mind is actually a very dangerous place to be. If we are not careful, we can allow negative thoughts to manifest negative outcomes in our life. —MARK BOTROS

We need to change the stories we tell ourselves. When we are tempted to say, “I’m not sure today’s going to be a good day.”, We need to actively capture that statement, forgive ourselves for having it, turn it around immediately, and say “I know I have a lot going on, but I’m going to kill it today. I’m going to crush this project. Today is going to be an awesome day.” This is not about creating phony, unsustained hype, but rather actively and intentionally setting the tone, and creating a habit for how you will behave and how the circumstances around you will unfold – to the best of your ability to influence them. You see, we are the creators of our world, and the creators of our experience within it. We get what we expect. And what we expect to get, is a product of our own persistent thoughts, words, and actions.

So tell yourself a different story, and act in line with that story. Go “crush your time” today.

“ We create our world, and our experience in it with our own persistent thoughts, words, and actions. —MARK BOTROS

Have you ever felt the “Sunday Night Dread”? The “Sunday Night Dread” is a phrase I coined to express the feeling you get every Sunday night before going into work on Monday morning. It’s that feeling of not looking forward to what you’re going to face the next day.

You’re not looking forward to facing your email, your boss, that colleague that you don’t like so much, that project which has been a bear. In short, you feel unmotivated, overwhelmed, and underprepared. Whatever the reason may be, the “Sunday Night Dread” is real and we have all felt it at one point or another whether in school, at work, or in business. Admittedly, I have too many dreaded Sunday nights myself. So since it’s such a common feeling, and since the feeling of dread is a close cousin of fear, what follows are some strategies I have used personally for overcoming the “Sunday Night Dread”:

1. First, take a moment and breath alone, lay on the floor for 15 minutes away from everyone and everything, in a dark and lonely room. Get centered and calm.

2. Second, confront your week head on, pull out your schedule, pull out your to-do list, prioritize the most wildly important items, and plot them on your schedule. Be sure it’s realistic. A highly efficient person can accomplish 5-7 things, assuming there are no obstacles. Realistically, we should schedule no more than 1-3 really important things per day.

3. Next, take one easy action on your to-do list and do it right then and there. This should be something you could accomplish in 10 minutes or less. This will pick off some low-hanging fruit, get yourself a quick win, and start your week with some momentum.

4. Finally, reward yourself in a way that is healthy and meaningful.

“ The ‘Sunday Night Dread’ is that feeling of not looking forward to Monday. —MARK BOTROS

All of us are plagued by something that we don’t want to do, and we’ve been putting it off for some time. It may be starting a business, going back to school, pursuing a new certification, taking a compliance training, starting a workout regimen, re-organizing the garage or our personal space, balancing our checkbook, or maybe estate planning. Whatever it is, there is something that is undesirable about it to us.

We do not associate any pleasure with that activity, or we’re afraid of it for some reason. Perhaps tackling our finances will reveal a weakness or imbalance in our spending. Perhaps going back to school will take us away from our family and friends. It may be that going for that new certification may suck out 6 months of our life for study and exam preparation. Whatever it is, it is unsavory to us, but we also know it is important, and that’s why we’ve been putting it off. We know we need to do it. As a recovering procrastinator myself, these are the techniques I use personally to avoid relapse:

1.  Get negative leverage on yourself – Think about all the bad things, detractors, inconveniences, negatives, and painful outcomes that will come from not taking action on that thing

2. Think Nike – Just do it

3. Don’t aim for perfection – Getting started is often the hardest part. Don’t aim for perfection, or analyze it until you are blue in the face, just aim for getting it started, and then aim to get it done. Remember, done is better than perfect.

4. The 5-minute start – Set a countdown timer for 5 minutes, start whatever it is you’ve been putting off, and then when 5 minutes is up, you can either stop and reward yourself, or keep going if you want, and reward yourself.

5. The countdown timer – Set a timer for 20-30-40 or 50 minutes and work on that thing just for that amount of time. When you are finished you can either stop or continue with the task. In either case though, you should reward yourself for the effort.

6. Break it up – Take that overwhelming activity and break it down into bite size chunks that we can handle. Smaller activities with shorter timelines are more motivating. You can’t iron your whole wardrobe, but maybe you can iron one shirt every day over two weeks.

7. Reward greater difficulty – When you’ve done something you really don’t want to do, reward yourself for doing it. The bigger the challenge, the bigger the reward.

8. Get positive leverage on yourself – Think about all the positive benefits, blessings, and pleasurable outcomes that will come from taking action on that thing

“ Remember, done is better than perfect. —FRED GLEECK, INFO PRODUCT EXPERT

I mentioned rewards a lot. The reward needs to be something motivating, but also good for you, because if you’re going to reward yourself often (as you should) then the reward can’t be a King Size Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup every time – even though I would love that. The reward needs to be something healthy, satisfying, and that signals self-appreciation to your brain. It could be taking a break, going for a walk, taking 15 minutes to read a little bit of that novel you’ve been loving so much, listening to a song, doing a little yoga, texting a friend, or watching a short funny clip on YouTube. Whatever it is, it has to feel like a reward. Rewarding yourself is important, because if you ignore the reward, then your brain will rebel and become unwilling to follow you in the future. It will be harder to get your brain on board with things you want to do because it will remember that you promised yourself a reward and didn’t give it. So, it will find even more creative ways and rationalizations to put things off. Rewarding yourself regularly convinces your brain that you actually care about yourself, and it will comply if it knows a reward is coming.

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In my post, Email Common Sense 101 I talk about what good email etiquette looks like. Since texting is the other major form of non-in-person communication, I would feel remiss if I didn’t provide some equivalent etiquette around texting. Texting has dominated text-based communication for many reasons:

1. Mass Adoption! Mobile devices are everywhere (there are more mobile devices than people in the world – (as of November 2019) there are more than 9.3 billion devices – according to gsmaintelligence.com; there are 7.6 billion people in the world according the US Census Bureau; and according to Pew Internet Research 81% of mobile phone owners text vs. 52% that are using their phones to email. According to USAToday, mobile phone users use the SMS (or Share by text) button 3-4x more often than they use the Twitter share button.
2. Texting can be done synchronously (in real-time) or asynchronously (with delay at your convenience)
3. Texting requires low bandwidth and can be done anywhere at anytime
4. Texting can be short form, long form and can include multimedia (like images, sound, and video clips)
5. Texting is entertaining
6. Texts get our attention
7. Texts provide immediate gratification
8. The device-to-device nature of texting makes texting highly personal
9. Texting can be very personable as you can somewhat transmit emotion through emojis
10. Texts can quickly transmit logistical info, “Let’s meet at Starbucks at 9:30.”
11. Texting can be an individual or group communication
12. People need an informal means of communication, and texting is one of the most widely used, aside from in-person, and social media
13. Texting allows for multiple conversations at once.

In terms of etiquette, texting is informal by nature, so we almost need to take our etiquette from in-person communication and tailor it to electronic media.

Texting Etiquette

1. Length doesn’t really matter, but in the case of texting – shorter is better – longer, more detailed conversations are better done as a phone call or in person
2. Texting should not be used for complex business transactions, communications, and collaborations. Use a more formal means of communication like in-person meetings, video conferencing, phone and email for business matters.
3. Special occasion responses (e.g., party invitations for graduations, engagements, weddings, baby showers, etc.) should typically be done via the requested mode for RSVP, unless you are explicitly instructed to RSVP by text in the invitation.
4. In initiating a text conversation, you must always identify yourself if you’ve never texted with them before, otherwise, they are wondering who you are, and will be resistant to anything you say.
5. In initiating a text conversation, it’s always nice to use a pleasantry when opening a text conversation like “Happy Friday” or “I hope your day is going well.”
6. For some people texting is personal space, so text with someone that you feel comfortable connecting with in such a personal way.
7. Texting should never ever ever ever be used to transmit breakups – That’s just cowardly and you are better than that, and anyone who would ever break up with you using a text is someone you do not want in your life anyway, so move on, you’re better off without them.
8. Use acronyms and shorthand that the other person knows, and define acronyms for them if you’re not sure whether they know them or not
9. In the same way that someone is speaking to you, you want to acknowledge them and what they say. The same is true for texting. Don’t leave a person hanging for days and weeks. Reply at an appropriate time. If it is an urgent question, answer right away. If it is less urgent, you can wait on it, but it would be good to at least acknowledge the text in some way, like “Thanks for letting me know.”, “Great to hear from you.”, or “Let me check on that and get back to you.”
10. If you found that you missed a text and never responded, just simply acknowledge it, apologize for it, and reply. For example, “I’m so sorry I missed your text, I just saw it…”
11. Be aware that when you are in group text situation, everything you write could be read by everyone else
12. The best forms of communication in order: In-person, Video (e.g. Skype, FaceTime, Google Duo, or Zoom), Phone (Voice-to-Voice), Texting (because it’s informal and personal), and email (which is considered a little more formal).
13. Please, do not text when you are in the middle of a conversation, work, or a social situation where you should otherwise be present and engaged. Most mature, civilized people agree that it’s rude.

All in all, what is etiquette? It’s not just a way of behavior, it is a way of behaving that is classy and doesn’t offend people. If I were to give you one etiquette takeaway it’s this, treat others better than the way you want to be treated, and you’ll never go wrong.

Common Acronyms for Text Messaging / E-Mail / Chat

The following links contain a comprehensive set of texting and other electronic communication shorthand. At minimum, the following links are informative and entertaining. That said, because texting contains the lowest common denominator for our English vernacular, some of the following links do contain shorthand for less-than-proper language. I thought you would appreciate knowing that up front. Enjoy!

Short Lists of Popular Texting / Email / Social Media Acronyms

http://www.netlingo.com/top50/popular-text-terms.php

http://www.smart-words.org/abbreviations/text.html

Comprehensive Lists of Texting / Email / Social Media Acronyms

http://www.netlingo.com/acronyms.php

http://www.webopedia.com/quick_ref/textmessageabbreviations.asp

“ Treat others better than the way you want to be treated, and you’ll never go wrong. —MARK BOTROS

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In January 2016 The world economic forum put out a report saying that “critical thinking” was among the top needed skills both in 2015, and it will continue to be a top skill in the year 2020.

Organizations have a bit of a cognitive dissonance or conflict when it comes to critical thinking and critical thinkers. Corporations and nonprofits alike want thinkers who have hardcore critical thinking skills, but in my observation, while they want people who are good at finding better ways, finding improvements, finding opportunities, finding more revenue, and finding cost savings, They often want the skill but don’t always ask employees to exercise it. This is not true generally speaking, there are many innovative organizations that thrive on critical thinking. However in large organizations especially (whether it’s a multinational corporation, a government agency, nonprofit, or academia), if you’re a critical thinker it can be pretty lonely. The reason why (especially if you’re in a large organization) is that multi-layer bureaucratic organizational structures are things that built up over time. A critical thinker threatens those long and well-established groups, processes, and traditions that have honestly outlived their usefulness. This is true especially if they start asking why something is the way it is, or suggest a change that can mean widespread restructuring, transition, and adjustment, for a good portion of the organization.

It’s pretty humorous to watch people’s reaction to a true critical thinker. They are often seen as the “wet blanket”, “the lead balloon”, the “deflator” – the person who lets the air out of the manager’s great ideas, or the last person in the meeting who starts asking questions when everybody else just wants to get out of there. When a critical thinker comes in the direction of people, those people actually start looking for emergency exit routes.

It can be equally difficult for the critical thinker because they feel as though they are not being heard even though their ideas and questions are valid, and add value to the organization. Oftentimes, they came across as negative, snarky, or socially awkward when their genuine intent is to help make things better.

So here are some ways that if you are a critical thinker, you can get your point across, be taken seriously, and be an actual change agent it in your organization:

Stay positive – my wife says “you can say anything, it’s all in how you say it”. People are more likely to listen to you if you “say it with some honey”. President Barack Obama said in a recent interview that when he has to bring up something challenging, he asks his team how he can say it, “in a way that it will be received.

“ You can say anything, it’s all in how you say it. —MARK'S WIFE

Be thoughtful and holistic – Chris McGoff, in his book, The Primes, suggests that we should convince the mind, the heart, and the wallet. Discuss the broader environment and what is at stake if you stay the same, or the opportunities that present themselves if you change.

Be the change – Change needs leadership, and the devil is in the details. Organizations cannot act on your smart questions or bright ideas unless you are willing and able to lead or strongly support that change. A Marine Colonel I know, once suggested to one of his battalions, “when you see a problem, speak up about it, but bring a solution and yourself as the resource to solve it.”

“ When you see a problem, speak up, but bring a solution and yourself as the resource to solve it. —A USMC COLONEL

Talk to the right people – You need to get your questions, thoughts, and ideas in front of the right people, not just your cube mates who have no power to act but only act as a passive sounding board for your complaints. Think about how best to surface what’s on your mind in such a way that respects your chain of command, and doesn’t cause anyone any embarrassment. For example, calling out your VP in front of her regional town hall probably won’t help your case.

Have a good plan – if you believe in something strongly, you need to have a great plan for executing it. The plan needs to cover several aspects:

1. Your Buy-in Strategy (how to get Senior Mgmt on board to invest in your idea)
2. Your Change Mgmt or Communication Plan (because all change management initiatives need a good communication plan)
3. Your Project Plan (even at a high level)
4. Your Success Criteria (what does success look like? how will you know you have achieved it?)
5. What resources and funding do you need to execute and maintain what you are suggesting?

Be Dazzling – if you have a friend in the graphic design division, now is your time to get their help. You want your documents, slides, and other presentations to graphically impressive. People respond to things that are visually appealing, and they are more likely to listen to you. And even if your change initiative doesn’t get off the ground, you will have created such an amazing impression in the minds of your audience, that you will now be considered an all-star.

Being a critical thinker is a good thing. Your organization wants you and values you have to offer them. Your questions and ideas don’t have to live on the fringe, they can be in the mainstream, they just need to be packaged in the right way for the right people to see. Whatever the outcome, if you’ve taken this advice, in the end, you will look amazing and you will develop a reputation as someone of great value to the organization.

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“What is your purpose?” “What is the meaning of your life?” Have you ever thought about these questions for yourself? The concept of purpose is broad, transcendent, and certainly not something you bring up in casual conversation, but knowing our purpose is critical to our success in life. It gives us focus, meaning, and a prism to view our life through to determine whether we are focused on the right things or not. If you look around, the people with the deepest sense of purpose seem to do the best. For example, I know a teenager who, instead mindlessly wasting her life on social media, she decided to start a house cleaning business to earn money to help her family. That teenager’s purpose to provide for her family, actually helped her to create a multi-million dollar business with over 300 employees by the time she was 25.

The concept of purpose was something I came to grips with myself a few years ago when I felt like I was a whirlwind of activity going nowhere. I was too many things for too many people, I couldn’t say “No”, and I was feeling that I wasn’t being true to myself. So after a pretty lengthy process of self-exploration, which yielded a “Personal Constitution” – another post for another time – out of that came my own sense of purpose. It was this sense of purpose that provided the framework for everything else. After all, if you don’t know where you’re going, chances are you’ll never get there. I realized that we as people may fulfill one or more purposes as we roam this great earth. It’s certainly true for me personally, these are my seven:

• To create and perpetuate life
• To achieve my fullest expression
• To express true Unconditional Love
• To use my voice to move, educate, and inspire
• To give courage to all
• To leave the world better than I found it
• To help each person I encounter to become more than they are.

The last purpose above is what drives me to get up early and stay up late as I seek to accomplish this, not only for my family but for all those who I connect with.

I believe that your purpose is tied to what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do. That gift is the thing that no one else does better than you. And it could be something as simple as “No one manages finances better than I do”, “I am the best quilter ever”, or perhaps “I’m the most handy person, I can fix anything.”

So how do you find your purpose, if you don’t already know what it is? Well, numerous books have been written on the subject, but given my penchant for simple, practical advice let me share a short set of questions (that I have personally used for myself and others) that should help start you down the path of identifying your own purpose. It’s adapted from a set of questions David Bach posed in his best selling book, “The Automatic Millionaire”

1. What are you uniquely talented in doing? (i.e. Your gift(s) – What area(s) of your life are you more skilled than most other people?)
2. What is easy for you and requires little no effort?
3. What do you love doing more than anything? (i.e. what would you do for free or even pay to do?)
4. What do other people think you are uniquely gifted at doing?
5. At the end of your life, what would you regret NOT doing in this life?

Chances are, if you see some of the same answers over and over, then you’re starting to triangulate what your purpose is.

“ Having a purpose gives our life focus, meaning, and helps us to know which things will fulfill us. —MARK BOTROS

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In my post, “Confessions of a Micromanager” I talked about what’s really going on inside the head of a micromanager – using myself as the case study.

In that post, I talked about “the problem”, how micromanagers operate primarily from a place of insecurity, fear, or a lack of control or trust. In some cases, their behavior comes from extraordinarily high standards. In this post, we explore “the solutions” on how to effectively manage the micromanager so that while that manager is getting on everyone else’s nerves, you will have some peace and sanity:

Think ahead – Stay four steps ahead of them. Your average worker (and manager) is usually working on what’s due and “in the fire” now. Above-average performers and many micromanagers are usually thinking about 1-2 steps ahead. Often, micromanagers are always anticipating what can go wrong, and what will make them look bad – something they want to avoid at all costs. If you think 4 steps ahead, you should be able to anticipate many of the questions that a micromanager will ask you. Also, think about the questions that are “top of mind” for your micromanager. What is of utmost importance to them? What do they value? What is on their mind? What might they be asked by their management or peers? Answer these on a consistent basis, and you should be able to anticipate and predict the needs and wants of your micromanager.

Work ahead – this is a key truth in the workplace or even in school – Absolutely no one (including your micromanager), will ever fault you for working ahead and getting work done early. Most people do not, they only react to what is before them that moment and that day. But those who “pro-act” or rather work in advance of deadlines and emergencies, are seen as high performers, why? because the average person doesn’t think or act proactively. In any business environment, it’s better to be making progress early than trying to catch up. What makes micromanagers crazy is that they really want things done sooner rather than later, and done well, but most people around them don’t operate that way. If you work ahead, with a sense of quality, and let your micromanager know that you are on a consistent basis, they should develop enough trust in you that they will bother you less.

Ask their advice – People love being asked advice, micromanagers especially. It helps them in a couple of ways. First, they have the opportunity to impart their “wisdom” to you. Second, it makes them feel involved in what you’re doing, and they don’t have to ask you separately about it.

Communicate status – Micromanagers need to know what’s going on because they don’t want to look bad to their management and peers. They want to know everything about everything. No detail is too small. This one requires a little balance. You want to give just enough information to satisfy the amount of detail that they want, but also some micromanagers can dig “into the weeds” on details that really don’t matter. Be as detailed and consistent as possible. Remember, they are looking for what’s wrong and what can potentially surprise them badly. It’s good to surface those issues earlier rather than later. One of H.Ross Perot’s mantras was “Bad news doesn’t get better with age.”

“ Bad news doesn’t get better with age. —H. ROSS PEROT

Communicate “When” – “When” is always the key question. Micromanagers want to know when things are going to happen because they want their expectations managed, so they can manage others’ expectations as well. Remember they want to look good to others, so when you give them a date for when something is going to be finished, you need to be sure you hit that or have a very good explanation as to why you can’t. In any project or activity there three key success factors, and they are Quality, Schedule, and Cost, so “when” is always a key question when evaluating how a project or task goes. Remember it’s always better to be early than late.

Give them the “warm fuzzy” – Micromanagers, especially those who are driven by control or extremely high standards need reassurance. Tell them that you have things well under control, that you will keep them updated, and that they will have a full say in the process. They need to be reminded of all that, otherwise they will get all over you about it, and they won’t leave you alone until they get the “warm fuzzy” – that feeling that everything is going to be alright. If you work proactively in managing them – that is communicating status, schedule, and any bad news (and solutions that you’ve already thought of) early, then you will be able to work with sanity under that manager.

Delegate Up – Give your micromanagers something to do, to research, or a question to answer that you can’t – and let them do it. Often micromanagers are just looking for a purpose and need something for their to-do list. Say, “can I get your help with this?” This is a win-win because it gets them feeling purposeful and involved while staying out of your hair to focus on your work – and for that moment YOU are the boss.

“Come to Jesus” – Dr. Wayne Dyer once said we teach people how they should treat us. In the business world we use a phrase called having a “come to Jesus” talk, that’s when we need to have a difficult talk with someone that requires them to change. You may need to have such a talk with your micromanager, to let them know how their behavior is affecting you.

“ We teach people how they should treat us. —DR. WAYNE DYER

Last Resort – A colleague of mine once told me about a micromanager that met with her three times a day, and the micromanager would tear apart her work every time. And this happened every day for months. It wasn’t a surprise that people didn’t last around that manager, but often those managers get results, and senior management is often too cowardly or too busy to let go of someone who is getting results. If senior management is short-sighted, they don’t care how. So after you’ve done all that you can do, there are times when, for the sake of your health and sanity, you need to move on. But only do so only after you have tried everything above, after you’ve given the situation a real chance, and after you’ve learned and “milked” everything you can from that manager. Only then should you move on.

Bad managers are like weeds, they are everywhere, and there are more bad managers than good. You can’t avoid them, and you can’t quit every time you encounter one. You have to learn how to manage them, not the other way around. If you get a bad manager who is a micromanager, you have a unique opportunity to really up your game. Micromanagers are actually good for that, they expose the weaknesses in our work ethic, and call us higher. We should treasure those as learning and growth opportunities for ourselves. But there are situations where it is simply impossible to make work, and that is a judgment call on your part. But know this, if you help your micromanager to be successful, then they will eventually move on or get promoted – OR you may get promoted as a result.

“ Micromanagers are good for us because they expose the weaknesses in our work ethic, and call us to up our game. —MARK BOTROS

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If you look around in any waiting room nowadays, you notice people doing one of several things, but mainly one: they are using some kind of screen (phone, tablet, computer, TV) to pass the time. While our electronic devices are necessary for work, communication,  connection, and re-creation, at what cost does it come? I believe we sacrifice something of ourselves on the altar of our “keeping busy”. Here is what I think we gain when we turn off the screens in our life:

• Time –  we gain time the think and take back our minds. Our minds are actually very busy places when we’re not in front of a screen. Turning off our screen gives us much needed time to think and process the events in our lives.
• Calm – we gain the ability to calm ourselves naturally and take back our sense of peace.
• The Present – we gain the ability to take back the present moment. We can give real time to our children, our spouse / significant other, or friends and colleagues
• Priorities – we take back our real priorities. We can take time to do those projects we’ve been putting off.
• Liberty – we take back some of OUR time and freedom from habit-forming and often time-wasting apps, videos, games, and advertisements
• Creativity – we take back our ability to entertain ourselves without the need of an electronic device
• Connection – we take back the realness in our relationships, by having real conversations, not just endless text-based exchanges that go nowhere.

“ Ultimately when you turn off your screens, you recapture yourself. —@MARKBOTROS

For some of us, writing good email may be second-nature, however, where we may struggle is in managing time where email is concerned. Often, we get into the office and the first thing we do is jump into email and allow numerous non-priority items to suck the day and the life right out of us. None of us wants to admit that we have an “opportunity for growth” when it comes to something as basic as email. So, I put together this post to give both you and I a good reminder on what good email time management looks like.

To manage email effectively though I recommend the following time management principles and actions:

1. Be Ruthless – Email is a relentless force of nature that will never stop flooding your attention with news, scores, stock tip teasers, limited time offers, words of the day, newsletters, notifications, social media updates, action items, and only an occasional personal note that has any meaning to you whatsoever. Email is unforgiving, it doesn’t care about your time, it doesn’t care about your feelings, it doesn’t care that you are overwhelmed every time you check it. It’s not personal, it’s just the nature of email. Which means that we have to decide what our relationship with email is going to be. Will we control it and set our own priorities or the other way around? If we master email, we will have more mastery of our time. So be ruthless, and don’t apologize for wanting to create more time for more important things.
2. Touch Emails Once – Delete it, delegate it, organize it, schedule it, or act on it (if it can be accomplished in 3 min or less).
3. Check Email 3X per day or Less (if possible) – If you are in a knowledge work job you probably don’t need to check your email constantly. You can space out when you check your email to a few times a day, if that. The key is to check email the least number of times possible. You can check it in morning, at around noon, and in the mid-afternoon to catch any pertinent communication for the remainder of that day. However, if you are on a critical project, a proposal, in a real-time customer service or technical support environment, you may need to monitor email more regularly if that is directly part of the way that environment does business. In those types of mission critical environments, if you can get away with doing it once per hour, that should allow you enough time to do your other work.
4. If You Need It Fast – If you need a fast response do not send an email, call them, send them an instant message, or best yet, go and see the person or use video conferencing if you are at different locations.
5. After 5 PM – Typically if you receive an email after 5 pm, and your business generally runs during daytime hours, that person is just trying to clear their desk for the day, and is probably not expecting a reply right away. If they are, they may have unrealistic expectations, or they have a crisis for you to solve because they probably procrastinated and now made it your problem. In most cases, you’re better served getting a good night sleep and taking care of their question after you are fresh and rested.
6. Use Rules and Filters – Your inbox should only allow those items that are of most importance to you. Many emails are routine notifications and updates that don’t add any value except knowing that something happened. Set up rules and filters to get these out of your inbox. If that company newsletter had something of value, someone will let you know.
7. Systematize – Organization is the ability to easily find things. Process email in a systematic way, and organize it in a way that you can easily find them when needed. You can leave everything alone and just search your inbox to find the email that you need. You can use folders to organize your emails, or you can organize by person, project, customer, or some other way that your mind organizes information. Psychologically, if you are at peace with the way your email is organized it will do wonders for your sanity.
8. Set Appropriate Times to Respond to Email– Check your email only at scheduled times and places when you are able to respond to email. It does you no good to check email right before bed if you can’t do anything about it. Otherwise, you will just stay up thinking about the email you need to send. More than likely it can wait until the morning.
9. Try Waiting an Hour – If you are able to do it, try waiting one hour before responding to your email first thing in the morning. That first hour will allow you to work off a priority item, then you will be “warmed up” enough to respond to email. You will also feel more accomplished if you made progress on a priority item. If anyone was expecting a response that morning, they will have waited only an hour, and typically people sending email don’t always expect an immediate response, that’s why they send an email. You will find that most items transacted over email are not time sensitive. If that person wanted something right away they would have come to you directly in person, over the phone, or over instant message.
10. Template-tize – Many of our emails consist of the same words and responses that we use over and over again. Or sometimes we might send the same type of email on a routine basis – like a monthly project update, or a weekly status report. Why not create templates for these routine communications? If we can find some way to create templates for our usual greetings and responses, this will save us considerable time. One way to template-tize is to make use of signatures. In an email signature, you can put in all the elements of communication that you typically use, which helps you get off the communication task more quickly, and move your day forward.
11. Go in Person – If you need to send more than three emails resolve a question, you need to actually talk with that person – in person. Email will only prolong the question or issue. The best communication approach (in order) is in person, video conferencing, phone, then text-based communications like email, social media, or texting.

Most email communication doesn’t add value to our work or our life. When we can control the flow of information and communications that come to us in a disciplined way; when we can sift through the junk and get to the priorities; when we see email as an inferior communication approach and use better communication and time management strategies, we will be happier and more productive. My hope in sharing this advice is that you (and I) will make better use of  email and make more time for the things that matter most in life.

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Most grown adults today think they know how to use email, yet how many times have you received an email that was too long, too short, too rude, didn’t get to the point, didn’t manage expectations, or didn’t make sense? To write an email that not only communicates well but makes you look smart and sophisticated, I recommend the following etiquette:

1. Use Subject Lines Effectively. If you can use them alone, that works great (e.g. “Monthly Status Report – Please see attached (Please review by Friday end of the day)” or “Team – please complete your time card by COB Today. Thank you!! <no further text>”

2. Open and Close Pleasantly. I usually start my emails with something nice, like “I hope you’re well.”, “Happy Friday”, or “It was great talking with you earlier.” It shows that you are polite, kind, and not just someone who launches straight into business. I try to close positively as well because I want to leave the reader with a positive human impression.

3. Be Upfront – After your nice opening, the next thing should be why you are sending the email. Often people have to process hundreds of emails at a time, so be kind to them and let them know upfront what you want or need. Don’t bury it in paragraph four.

3. No Anger or Sarcasm – Never send an angry, snarky, or sarcastic email. You can write it, stew on it, scream into a pillow about it, punch a speed bag a few hundred times while reading it on your mobile device, but for your own sake DO NOT send it. Angry or snarky emails never reflect well on the sender, and if you send it to a wider audience, you’ve created a negative impression of yourself to the entire email audience.

4. Send Good Emails – Always send emails that are polite, diplomatic, neutral, objective, and not overly flowery (I have struggled with the last one over the years). For some people, the only impression of you is what they see in email. You can never go wrong looking nice in email.

5. Use Good Language – Check your email for spelling, complete sentences, and well-expressed ideas. You want your audience focused on  your message, not distracted by spelling errors, incomplete sentences, and incoherent ideas and concepts.

6. Read It One More Time – Before hitting the SEND button to others, do one, or three, final reviews speaking the text aloud to yourself. Be sure that your email says what you want it to say, but more importantly that it is said in a great way. When in doubt, have someone else look at your email, especially if it’s important.

7. Always Assume Good Will – When you use email you lose about 93% of the communication tone, so it’s very easy to misinterpret. Be patient and don’t lash out because someone responded with what seems to be an angry or snarky tone – or a one-word response. Always assume that the other person had the best intentions when they sent that response. It will help you in your follow up communication with them. Besides, you can always ask for clarification later.

“ When you use email you lose about 93% of the communication tone, so it’s very easy to misinterpret. —MARK BOTROS

8. Be complete – Avoid single-word or other short responses that can be misinterpreted. Instead, use complete phrases, sentences, and thoughts.

9. Remember Your Reflection – How you communicate in email is a reflection of you, your image, your personality, and your intellect. Treat it as such.

10. Keep it Brief (unlike this post) – Avoid using email for sending lengthy communications if at all possible. If you have that much to say, it’s probably better said in person or over the phone.

11. DON’T USE ALL CAPS – It looks like you’re shouting, and it doesn’t reflect well on you. If you need to EMPHASIZE a word for effect, then I suggest using it sparingly and not in every email you send. Using ALL CAPS makes people uncomfortable and can put them on the defensive. We live in a hyper-sensitive world, so avoid this kind of micro-aggression. If you need a safer way to emphasize words, then use italics.

12. Use Plain Language – People respond well to people they easily understand. When I would write sales proposals I was taught that you should write at about an 8th or 9th-grade reading level. Steer clear of undefined acronyms, industry jargon, or overly technical language unless that is a shorthand that your audience will appreciate. And also try not to use “text speak” in email unless it is someone you are very familiar with.

13. Emoji’s – I minimize my use of emoji’s in email to those that I can use in text such as these:   :), :(, ;), or : /. The more flowery the emojis, the less seriously people will take you. And you want to be seen as someone who is smart, sophisticated, current, and capable, but also as someone who is approachable.

14. The Best Communication – The best form of communication is not email or any text-based communication at all. If something takes more than 3 emails to resolve, you need to actually talk to someone about it, except in cases where you need to maintain a written record of the conversation. The best forms of communication, in order:

1. In person
2. Video conference
3. Phone call
4. Text or Email

Text and Email are tied for last place, because you lose body language and vocal inflection in electronic, text-based communications. One exception is hand-written notes and letters. They are a lost art form, and probably as effective as in-person communication.

Example Business Email:

Subject Line: For Your Review: Monthly Status Report for October 20xx, (Please review by Date (MM/DD/YY))
 
Ellen,
 
I hope you’re well today.  Attached please find the Monthly Status Report for your review.  If I can get your comments by close of business, Date (MM/DD/YY), that will allow me time to process your comments and send the report to the customer.
 
Thank you so much for your help and hard work.
 
Very best,
 
Justin

Let’s highlight some observations about this email:

• Effective use of the subject line
• Use of the person’s name
• The opening pleasantry
• The immediate “ask”
• A definite date when a response is needed
• The impact of the person’s response (i.e.,  It would allow me time to process the status report, and send to the customer)
• The closing pleasantry
• Closing salutation
• The name (and email signature if you have  one)
• The email was short, succinct, and to the point

The fact that email has been in use for 50+ years, speaks to its long-term utility. So until we crack the code on long range mental telepathy, Email will probably be with us for some time. Hopefully, the advice above will remind us all to continuously stay on top of our game with the most seemingly mundane forms of communication.

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Several years ago I had an important insight. January is NOT the best month to start work on New Year’s resolutions.

It was November 2012 when I decided to try a different approach to New Years Resolutions. The thing that was missing from my life at that time, was a consistent exercise regime. Like all of us at one time or another, each year I would fall victim to the New Year’s Resolution trap. In the week leading up to New Year’s, I developed my goals for the following year and among them were usually some aggressive fitness goals.  However, I found that when January 1st came, when I was supposed to begin work on the goal, I didn’t have any momentum or motivation to even start the goal, let alone be successful, because, like everyone I had just spent the last month or so otherwise indisposed to holiday feasting. The toughest part of any journey is getting started, and when the journey is challenging, getting started is that much harder.

Something had to change. I decided to start my New Year’s Resolution Goals two months early in November. Instead of joining a gym, as many often do at the turn of a new year, I decided that I would workout at home using workout videos as my guide. I did this to avoid the overwhelm, intimidation, and cost of a gym – and so that my fitness program wouldn’t be a game of trial and error.  Wouldn’t you know that the simple shift of two months made all the difference?   Because my workouts were predetermined and doable, I was able to develop the habit of consistency, so now I had motivation.  And because I had the motivation, I made great progress, so now I had momentum. I went into the holidays that year from a position of strength, literal strength, as opposed to trying to attempt the same fitness goal (like I did year after year) from a position of weakness after the holidays. So I was able to resist that second helping of sweet potato pie, and I even felt motivated to have a little more salad on my plate that year.

That decision made a huge impact on my physical health.  Six years later I am absolutely passionate about health, fitness, and good food; my health numbers are spectacular for someone of my age, and I’m in as good of shape as I was when I was at 20. In fact, my own doctor, now asks MY advice on what I’m doing for my workouts. So, I’ve stopped working on my New Year’s Resolutions in January, because for me that approach has rarely been successful. Now, I start on all my goals well BEFORE the holidays, so that I can get over the inertia of getting started, make great initial progress, and develop a ton of momentum – thereby fueling my motivation and habits to accomplish my goals and enjoy the holidays in the process.
So for me, it seems New Years is coming a little early.

I would like to leave you with a challenge, ask yourself if the typical early January start date has worked for you in the past for your goals. If it has, great! Keep doing what you’re doing. If not, perhaps this is a good time to consider a new habit, before the holidays begin.

Happy New Year!

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